Love, Laughter & Learning

Hello Poppet!

2011-09-21T22:17:00.001+10:00

Think of this wide expanse we call life.

Suppose reality was like a sheet and you me are shapes popping up in this sheet. We are like sock puppets - Shakespeare could've been a little more specific - All the world is a stage, and we are merely sock puppets.

Infinity fills this little shell we call ourself, and animates it. And for the duration of the play we forget that we are more than this shell. We are more than just this little something we call ourselves.

We have within us - the infinite. We are Infinite.

All of us.

And when we can see beyond the illusion of the puppets. And look at life force which is animating the puppets - we can see that all our fears are tiny tiny specks of nothing. Our concerns are fleeting. Compared to what is available to us.

And also we can see - just like the two hands animating a sock puppet are actually just one person. We are all connected, and we are all part of the same infinite. And we experience the same connection, with variations on the theme. Based on the roles we play. Which doesn't change the fact that we are not so different - you and I. We are the same. All of us are just ONE. Which might also tell us why the simplest act of helping someone gives us so much more satisfaction. Anything you do to connect with someone - smiling in the lift or opening the door or just complimenting someone on their shoes, that's why it's all so rewarding. Because we're just helping ourselves.

The illusions of color, race, gender, sexuality, wealth etc are just the sock we've chosen to wear for this particular show.

A sock doesn't make the right hand better than the left hand. And a sock doesn't suddenly make the right hand and the left hand eternal enemies.

It's just a sock.

And we are not just a sock. We are infinite. And we are One.

On the Claude Makalele Conundrum

2011-07-15T21:57:00.006+10:00

One of the greatest footballers ever. He won't be remembered, and he won't make many lists. And not many outside the game will know him - the way they know Messi, Ronaldinho, Ronaldo or Rooney. And arguably he made a bigger difference to the teams he played on, if not as big a difference as any of the Golden Ball winners.

First the results:

1 UEFA Champions League
1 UEFA Super Cup
1 FA Cup
1 Community Shield
2 Premier League Titles
2 La Liga Titles
1 Ligue 1 Title

And of course, a runner's up medal at the 2006 World Cup - which could easily have been a Winner's medal but for the momentary lapse of reason from Zizou.

And now there's the Makalele role - teams now look for players like him.

Chelsea (Ranieri signed him, although he ended up playing for Mourinho) famously signed him when Florentino Perez decided that he needed Beckham, and said Real would not miss Makelele, who joined the Premiership club in a £16.6m deal.

"He wasn't a header of the ball and he rarely passed the ball more than three metres," Perez said. "Younger players will arrive who will cause Makelele to be forgotten."

Other members on the team didn't agree.

Zidane "Why put another layer of gold paint on the Bentley when you are losing the entire engine?" Steve McManaman called Makelele "the most important and yet least appreciated midfielder at Real" while Fernando Hierro echoed him, saying: "he's been the best player in the team for years but people just don't notice him".

Of course, Chelsea paid up and got the best defensive midfielder in the world, and Real Madrid spent the next few years getting knocked at the pre-quarters in the CL and failing to win a trophy until they managed to win La Liga in 2007, and they are still chasing the elusive tenth Champions League title.

But all this old hat for most soccer fans and followers. They've heard this one many times over, and read about it many times. They get it. Real and Perez screwed up big time. That's not the point here.

The point is how often this happens in organisations and teams - everybody knows the stars, and the supposed winners - the rainmakers, but how often do the leaders or the executives high up in the organisation get reliable and effective information to evaluate contributions at a team level - especially a few levels removed? Also considering how differing motivations and human behaviour make it harder for unbiased information to filter upwards. Add to this the difficulty of really getting good data on performance considering the subjective nature of most performance evaluations and it can get really hard to gauge individual contributions accurately and even harder to acknowledge and reward these contributions in a manner that is fair and helps drive the organisation forward. Considering how effectively player stats are measured and the wealth of information available - and still how hard it is to build a great team, you can appreciate the complexity is multiplied many times over when it comes to organisations,

So the question is what's the solution?

Peer feedback, especially informal feedback is a good starting point, rewarding teams for team results and appreciating the steady B's in addition to the superstar A's is another way.

And understanding that not every great performer seeks the limelight, so relying on self-promotion from your teams and employees can be misleading at best and create a culture of credit piracy, at worst.

And ask yourself, who is the Makalele on your team.

Rumi

2011-07-02T06:40:00.000+10:00

"A Thirsty Fish

I don't get tired of you. Don't grow weary
of being compassionate toward me!

All this thirst equipment
must surely be tired of me,
the waterjar, the water carrier.

I have a thirsty fish in me
that can never find enough
of what it's thirsty for!

Show me the way to the ocean!
Break these half-measures,
these small containers.

All this fantasy
and grief.

Let my house be drowned in the wave
that rose last night in the courtyard
hidden in the center of my chest.

Joseph fell like the moon into my well.
The harvest I expected was washed away.
But no matter.

A fire has risen above my tombstone hat.
I don't want learning, or dignity,
or respectability.

I want this music and this dawn
and the warmth of your cheek against mine.

The grief-armies assemble,
but I'm not going with them.

This is how it always is
when I finish a poem.

A great silence comes over me,
and I wonder why I ever thought
to use language."
— Rumi

I can't get enough of Rumi - the flow of his language and the ideas they present remind me of Rilke.

Thank heavens for the beauty of words.

On Winning

2011-06-25T20:26:00.001+10:00

There's a certain duality to life. Apart from the usual quantum mechanical duality ie. Or maybe it's because of the quantum mechanical duality. Take winning for example.

Winning is important, not because of what you win - but because of who you become in the process of winning. What makes an Olympic winner stand out, or a Grand Slam winner stand out - is the transformation they've managed in themselves, starting from wherever they were - discovering what it took, such that they became winners. The winning was in fact a was a consequence of the fact that they became winners, not vice-versa.

Which is all well and good, you say. Where's the duality you mentioned?

Well, the fact that you win after you become a winner is one aspect of it. The second aspect of it is that it's almost impossible to win when all you are obsessed with is winning. Let me rephrase that, when I say obsessed - I mean attached. When all one wants is the victory, and when nothing else matters - the victory is often the the hardest to come by. However, when one is detached from the victory - but working at being excellent, the winning - now or later follows.

Just as it follows from being a winner - finding out what it takes to be a winner.

And with the detachment from the result, and the focus on finding what it takes for me to be a winner. The result can be inconsequential. But on the knife edge of commitment, lies the balance where winning is after all - the whole point of it. Because without the game of winning and losing, how would I find out what it takes to be one, and know when I've succeeded.

And still be able to treat those two imposters the same.

Of course - this is not just true about winning, it's about everything. Finding out what it takes to be a husband, or a wife, or a parent or coach or a CEO.

As Epictetus put it best 'If you would be a writer, write.'

That's why I am here, to write.

The question

2010-04-05T11:20:00.000+10:00

It's the question that drives us.

And when you lose your drive, maybe you can ask yourself the question. What question, you ask? Maybe one of these. Or you could come up with your own questions. One of the questions I love asking is what do you dream about?
What do you want to do with your life?
What's the one thing you dream about often? The one thing you couldn't stop thinking about, and the one thing you always wanted to do, and are going to do one day or some day? The dream you have but are scared of sharing with others, because you think people are going to make fun of you. Or start asking you about? You don't tell them you want to write a book or start a company because then you would have to answer questions like when and what are you doing about it?And though you can fool yourself with someday and one day, when you tell others - these words sound hollow. And empty. And meaningless.

We hold our dreams as tiny candles within our hearts, a faint flame flickering in a vast space, and we wonder why our dreams don't come true. They don't because we don't bring our dreams out to reality - what's the point of having a dream, it's our escape from our reality. But it's actually an escape from our current reality, so if we were to make our dreams real - we'd be able to really escape our current reality. The first step to that is bringing your dream out into the open and seeing what it would take to make it happen. Facing up to the work required, because it's what we are committed to - and because it would all be worthwhile to make that happen.

That mythical some day is never getting here. There's only today.

So what is it you dream about?

And what are you doing about it.

Inspiration

2010-01-02T20:46:00.000+11:00

I sit staring at a blank screen, with the keyboard awaiting my touch patiently. Lacking the inanimation of the keyboard, I wait for inspiration to strike with growing impatience. And a funny image fills my head - Inspiration in the form of one the Norse gods with a huge hammer waiting to strike. I think it behooves me to be patient in the face of such power.

And I know at the same time, that reaching for the words to flow out only pushes them further away. The muse appears in stillness, and in peace, and in activity. I can reach in, and feel the stillness filter throw the frazzled fabric of impatience. Flowing through you, and filling every cell of your body with an exquisite sense of calm and peace. It is both fragile and powerful.

And my mind is suddenly alert, and my art flows out.

Inspiration strikes again.

I have a dream

2009-10-09T18:05:00.000+11:00

I dream about sleeping. Sleeping deeply. Soundly. Peacefully. And drifting out of it gently. Rising up from the mists of sleep, drifting into the waking world like a feather rising slowly on a hot summer day. Not being woken up by strange noises and alarm clocks or sunshine. Not by neighbors banging doors, or by my conscience and my sense of duty urging me to get to work at a decent hour.

Varied house guests, couchsurfers and other commitments have contributed to leaving me deprived of the soothing balm that knits the 'ravelled sleeve of care. And it makes me unsociable, and feeling dumb. Which is not a pleasant feeling. To make matters worse, when I do fall asleep - like around 2 pm last night, my sub conscious contrives to sabotage what little nap time I manage. It makes me dream. If you have a co-operative sub conscience you see pleasant dreams. Such as scoring the winning goal in the world cup final, or winning the lottery. Or maybe if you've been really good to your sub conscience you see dreams where you are pouring late night drinks for Uma Thurman and Charlize Theron in your apartment. In the hot tub.

And if you've been really unkind, as no doubt I have, you see dreams where you are trying to fall asleep. I cannot remember where reality ended and where the dream started but all I remember from last night is that I was trying to fall asleep.And not even trying to fall asleep in some 5 star resort with goose down quilts and goose feather pillows. My dream had me in my own apartment, and in my own bed. Like I need a dream to see that. And at some point the alarm went off and I stopped trying to fall asleep and actually woke up. And then I was thinking, wait a minute, how could I wake up - I was trying to fall asleep all this while.

Sort of like life. It's hard to make out where reality ends and my head begins.

I think I need to rent some one else's dreams, mine are not doing it for me.

Parallel Worlds

2009-10-08T22:54:00.001+11:00

So many choices available, and each option leads down a good road. When each road, and every destination looks good, and you know that any choice you make, you would make the choice work - how do you step beyond the choice and do what's really your choice? Analysis paralysis beckons, and the sheer plethora of options makes it difficult to take any option. It's why good restaurants like to keep their menu cards short while they refresh the options every few months.

Of course, the only way to choose is to make a choice and act.

Or make a choice to refrain from acting. And you can see your choice pass you by, like to flower floating downstream. The moment for you to pick it up was there, and then the moment passed. And you can follow the path of the flower, and you can see where it's headed. And you can admire it. But you can't bring the moment back.

Life explodes with choices, and options. And while we fix our eyes on the flower we failed to pick, many more are passing by.

It's really a beautiful life, if I stay present to the beauty in front of me. And choose.

Making a point: A letter to myself

2009-07-05T19:29:00.000+10:00

It's all pointless, isn't it? It really doesn't matter. Nothing matters.

All the hopes and fears,we are so full of ourselves that we choke on the garbage we fill our minds with, and throw up before we can stuff anymore of ourselves down our throats. It's all pointless, and it doesn't mean a thing. We are tiny, tiny people with small minds living, occupying an infinitesimal amount of space in this universe. But we fill the universe with our world and believe they are one and the same. And we run out of space. Everything lives in our heads. Good or bad. The horrible client or the terrible ex, the friends who never understand you or the friends who should, all the stories about what happened and what will happen live in our head. And who rules our head?

Me, you say? I, am the lord of my kingdom, I run my life. In a way it's true, and utterly untrue. It's our petulant childish ego that runs our head and our lives, the ego that's still looking for ways to compensate for being left out of the class play in kindergarten. It's that 'I' who rules your head. And mine. A five year old. And we think we are in control. And we laugh at the thought, No that doesn't apply to me. I am mature and smart and I know all the tricks my mind plays on me. And that's still a trick your mind is playing on you.

The mind drags you away from the only thing that's really important to your life, it takes you to stories of the past, and fantasies of the future. About how Happiness, with a capital H, will arrive when you have that job, and that car, and oh, that suit, and that film star. Or how you were such a hero in spite of all the villains in your life, and how you are so brave. And unique. And you are always living your life in the past, or in anticipation of the future, the carrot at the end of the stick which will make you happy.

The only point is here, now. It's the only point that matters, and it's all there is. Take your mind to here and now, stop holding on to the past. There is no reason to fear or worry. Or complain about why the world is not behaving the way I think it should behave. The world is. And so are you. We are. Here and now.

And in this one point, of here and now - where there is no past, or no future. There's all the space you need. To do everything and anything. The point gets a little bigger each time, freeing up more space.

Live in this point, and this time. Now is where everything happens, and where absolutely anything is possible.

Flying high

2009-06-09T21:15:00.000+10:00

The mind breaks free
From the grip of gravity
And I soar again
Rising beyond fears
Leaving worries behind
The sky greets me
And the wind whispers
A welcome song
I'm floating free
Back where I belong.

And flying is easy,
Just open your mind
Let your imagination
Unfold mighty wings
See here and now.
Is filled with possibility

Still now

2009-05-18T22:00:00.001+10:00

The silence speaks to me

Drowning out the sounds
Of the vehicles racing by
Drawing me closer
To the silence inside

Both surrounded and seeded
By stillness seeking to speak
Images floating nearby
Almost out of arms reach

A light shines brighter
A candle in the deep

Tears flood the eyes

Rinsing old memories clean

She still smiles out
From the vaults within
Echoes growing louder

The past rushes in

Stillness gives pause

And silence recedes

I must return to now

To the buzz of rushing wheels

Headed down?

2009-04-20T23:37:00.003+10:00

The sun was bright. In fact it was dazzling. I couldn't look at it - it seemed like someone had set off a few flashbulbs in my face. I had to close my eyes and open them slowly. I couldn't remember the last time I had been so dazzled by sunlight. Hold that thought. I couldn't remember the last time of anything. And the brightness was just me emerging from within my brain. I rolled that thought around my mind, which wasn't too difficult given the amount of space available since all my memories had suddenly fled the scene. Before my tongue could come up with the classic 'where am i' my brain decided to exert some control. And wake up some more.

I was in a car, one of those SUV type thingies. I thought I knew the guy beside me who was looking at me with growing concern and moving his lips. That didn't seem right. Oh ok, he was asking me a question.

"Where do you live?'

Hmmmm. That was an interesting question. My answer was even more interesting, since it came out without any conscious effort on my part to answer.

"I don't remember"

And that was true. I really didn't remember where I lived. It was then that my awareness grew some more. The guy driving was my ex-teammate and manager. And I had been playing a game of soccer. A cup match, against Sydney United's premier league team. I wonder what happened there. I remembered coming off from the midfield 5 minutes into the second half with us trailing 1-0, and coming back on 5 minutes later as a striker with us trailing 2-0 (we had rolling substitutions). That's all I remembered. I wondered what had happened to the game. And I asked him.

He said we went down 7 nil. I was aghast. It had been only 2-0, when and how did they make it 7? He said they had unravelled us. It's bad enough to losing one's memory, but the shock of losing the game had been too much for my still fragile mind to bear. And I slumped a little and started to examine my head. I'd always been a great one for introspection. And I realised that it was taking a lot of effort to think. As though the gears were all clashing, and there was no grease. And my mind was also sputtering instead humming smoothly, like the mind of any bona fide genius should.

So far I had avoided classic question no 1, and I considered classic question no 2 as I metaphorically gathered my strength to ask my friend 'what happened'. When my system got another shock. A woman's voice saying 'everything will be ok' - and someone reached from the the back seat and patted my arm, while at the same time I could hear her looking through a bag, (mine - said my mind) and wallet (again mine - said my mind). Of course, my team mate's girlfriend - trying to find out my address or a contact. That did enough to derail the delicate train of my thought and I slumped back into my seat trying to remember stuff like what year was it and where i lived. I had some vague recollection of some 11th or 9th floor. With some sort of a walkway. In the meanwhile she had found my phone. And she asked me whom should she call. Last dialled nos - dad, mom? No No - I knew they lived far away and I was in ...Sydney? She got a friend's name, who I knew lived close by and she called them, and explained the situation.

Their friend had got hit on the head during a soccer game and was suffering from some memory loss, and they were taking me to the hospital - could they (ie my friend) come there? Apparently they could.

So since I knew the answer to the classic questions -

Q: what had happened? A: I got hit on the head during a game of soccer and lost some of my memory
Q: where was I? A: In a car, heading to a hospital.

Other stuff started filtering through my head. I had been at a soccer game. Oh yes. I asked Buzz, my team mate - what happened in the game? did we win? - He looked decidedly unhappy, he said 'No, we lost 7-0.'

'7-0, but it had only been 2-0 when I came on.'

He didn't say anything.

And I tried to remember other important stuff. I still didn't know where I lived, but I knew who my employer was, and the name of my erstwhile manager. And I had some vague memory of this being 2009 or 2010.

And we had reached the hospital. Buzz took me in through to the emergency ward. Where we told the person in-charge about my problem - knock on head, memory loss. And she asked us wait.

I wondered aloud why an emergency ward would have a waiting room for patients? I mean if they can wait it's hardly an emergency.

(To be continued)

(The team - at the end of last year's final)

Lines and shadows

2009-04-07T21:09:00.000+10:00

Do you see your world in black, white and grey? The good, the bad and the necessary ugly? And you close out the bad, avoid the ugly and try to focus on the good, but get defeated by the very act of doing so, the conscious focus on avoiding and erasing that which you do not wish to see only brings it front and center.

So one should be doing it unconsciously, or practice it long enough that it becomes part of your unconscious make up. The make up where you seek perfection, or should I say excellence, perfection is a mirage - a goal which is always shifting, never to be reached. But excellence can be attained and implies a continuous growth.

And perfection breeds an unbecoming arrogance whereas excellence can bring in humility, and further me along the path to bigger goals.

I am seeking to understand my current role and perform it to the best of my ability, trying to avoid focusing on the past or worry about the future. This doesn't imply that the past was unimportant, or the future is of no concern, but if I take care of now, everything else will take care of itself.

Right now, I feel like I am in a box, hemmed in by lines I have drawn, lines I can't cross, looking for the right choice. If the lines are mine, erasing them should also be my prerogative - as long as I can live with the consequences. This inactivity for fear of doing wrong is definitely not right, and though conscious wrongs are to be avoided, stagnation is to be avoided as well.

And so it goes, I learn from patterns past, and try to avoid repetition, but too much focus on the rear view mirror is a pattern of the past as well - and that too, must be broken.

And all new choices are just the same old choices in new clothes, it's always about right and wrong.

What's good, what's bad and what's plain ugly.

Silence

2009-03-20T22:51:00.001+11:00

I look out over the water, and see nothing.

I look back, and the only thing I can see is the pin point of light from the boat shed, and many smaller scattered points around it - from the houses, mine and those of my neighbours. I wonder how much time it would take for them to notice I was gone. Would they think that I was still working late as usual if they didn't see me for a few days? Or would someone see the little tell tale signs? The newspapers piling on the porch. The unkempt grass on the lawns. Or maybe the lack of garbage? The rubbish produced by orderly living, replaced by a creeping disorder.

Maybe someday I would know. It seemed unlikely. And unimportant.

All those years of working had taken their toil. And tomorrow was going to be the first of many Mondays which wouldn't be spent in rush hour traffic. Or slow death in meetings.

I had no idea what I was going to do next, but I clearly knew what I was not going to do.

I had thought it would take a little more effort to pluck myself away, but it was painless - as though the anticipation of the freedom was a drug against the pain.

Truly now, the world was my oyster. A gorgeous well stocked yacht. All the electronic gadgetry to guide me where I needed to go. No bonds to hold me back.

I wondered why I hadn't done this before, even as I knew why.

I had never won the lottery before.

Releasing Joy

2009-03-10T23:04:00.000+11:00

Another morning. Another day at work. Smiling, chatting cheerfully, answering queries, guiding employees with only one objective. Making sure that the customer is happy. And the hotel prided itself on getting every customer to come back. And to keep customers happy, he made sure that his employees were happy.

He was warm, kind and had the uncanny ability to release any tension with a combination of the right word and his brilliant smile. And his eyes were smiling even when he wasn't. That's what made working with him so easy. And made everyone happy. Employees. Waiters. Bell boys. Cleaners. And customers. And the management loved him too. The hint of the clown and a trace of the schoolyard prefect, mixed with generous doses of grandfather and father.

And when the days were longer then normal, he would allow himself the one drink. Always wine. Always with the radio tuned to the classics. And look around his empty house.

And stare at the pictures on his desk. The twins. And Emma. And he could never forget that night.

And the dam would burst. And he would cry. Soft, soundless tears. Gushing down his anguished cheeks.

The long days always ended like this.

And some of the short ones too.

They said time would heal all, and the tears would stop.

But only death could stop, what death had started.

Cricket for a cause

2009-03-09T22:54:00.000+11:00

This weekend, a friend organized a game of cricket at a park. He didn't allow his ignorance of the game or it's rules prevent him, and it didn't prevent most of his friends either - who although blessed with the good humor, irresistible good looks and the charming Irish accent, were singularly unequipped with cricketing knowledge, thanks to their shared Irish heritage.

So the barbie was fired up, numerous bottles of beer and alcohol were consumed and we all played a game of cricket. You were allowed to face only 6 balls, and if you got out - you kept on batting but you lost 5 'points' (they refused to call it 'runs' and I thought it was bad form to argue with the hosts). The girls bowled to each other, and everyone got to bowl, some of them made Murali's action look like something prescribed by the Gentlemen at the MCC.

And we were very much in danger of setting a negative score, but somehow managed to keep it on the plus side. And we finally got our chance to sledge and knock the stumps over a few times.

But the only real score that mattered, was the count in the little white box kept on the picnic table. Because we were all gathered to help Adam Clerkin - a 2 year old Irish boy who is suffering from Ewing's tumor and is undergoing extended sessions of chemotherapy before he can fly to Boston to have his jaw reconstructed - and the family needs all the help they can get.

And we all chipped in, and hopefully the box was overflowing before it left.

You can help too.

And what makes me ask you is this http://www.marcandangel.com/2009/02/25/how-to-make-all-the-difference-in-the-world/

So please,

Do help, in any small way you can.

You might change one person's life.

I wonder

2009-02-23T20:59:00.000+11:00

if we create the drama in our lives to escape boredom and dullness. So many of our problems are self created, and if we have had the arguable good fortune to get someone else to create a problem for us, we make sure we do our best to perpetuate it. Why end it and avoid the potential for excitement?

Surely the tedium of a perfect life would render such perfection useless, and how are we to appreciate perfection if not by contrast, so we create our problems, all of us, the reigning drama queens of our lives, and we entertain ourselves and others, our problems are our escape from a much bigger problem, monotony.

Which reminds me of one of those Ajit jokes. I loved those.

The voice in my head

2009-02-21T17:59:00.001+11:00

'Hi'

Hey, haven't seen you in a while..'

'Yup, I know, you've been busy so I've been away. But looks like you finally have some time'

Ah, well. You know how it is, the business of living takes so much of the life out - I've been meaning to catch up with you for some while now, but I just never found the time, and then you keep putting it off. It's like the Oscar winner, that's always at no 3 or 4 in your DVD rental list - never making it home.

Yup, I know what you mean, we've all been there. But I'm glad we're catching up, even if it's been too long.

Yeah, I'd forgotten how great it used to be with you, I guess that's one reason why it's been so long - and that's a vicious cycle.

Don't worry about it. How have you been? I see you are moving in the right direction.

Well, I hope it's the right direction, it was just getting too tough. I just wanted to walk away from it all, walk away from everyone. Everything. Just be myself, alone. And far away. I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders, and I couldn't even shrug. And the more you take, the more you get. And all the time, I was trying to do what's right. And be true. To myself and others. And the line blurred somewhere, and it all got mixed up. It's not meant to be this hard is it?

Well, I could say it's only as hard as you make it out to be, but you don't want to hear that. I could say that it's actually very easy, but again - that's not what you want to hear. I could tell you the answers, but they would just be my answers, your questions and your answers are your's to find. And they will come to you. They are all around you, but you need to look in the right places. The answer is not the name on your visiting card, or the cash in your wallet. It's not the friends you have, or the cool people you know. Not in your closet, or your living room. The car you drive, the mobile you use, the beer you drink or the wine you buy to showcase your refinement are not it either. It's not the school you attended, or the philosophy you preach. The women you sleep with, or the God you follow. It's all this and not. It's the beginning. And the ending. And everything in between just comes from it. But you already know all this, don't you.

Well, it's all true and not. There is this, and there is more. But the answers in my head need to translate to the life I lead, right? The choice I make, and the outcomes that follow - should be showing me something.

They do, but don't throw out the good with the bad. It's true that you make choices, and you need to be aware of the choices, and the consequences - but the choices can be right, sometimes the consequences are beyond our control. You do your best, and then you still don't get the result you wanted - what you learn from that, is not that the choice is wrong, or that you shouldn't have made the choice but that there's more. There's more you could have done, and even then. Don't worry about the results. You've been down the other road, and you know that road is not yours. Does it really matter that you see so many people on that road?

It does, it feels like I'm lost in limbo. Waiting. Where's the here and now?

Stop thinking, and start doing. Make a few more mistakes. Don't shut yourself up in an ivory tower, solving everyone's problems in your head - take some action with your own. And you can't make everyone happy. Don't be afraid to make yourself happy. Go out there, and free yourself, and your mind.

Yup, I should, it's been great, catch you soon?

You know where to reach me, have fun. Smile a lot more :-)

Only words

2009-02-16T14:47:00.002+11:00

From an unpublished poet's private collection.

write to me.

write to me,

write me a story,

of happy endings

write me a story

of humble truths

and brave choices

write me a poem

of freedom

write me a poem

of joy unrivall'd

and harmonious echoes

write me words

in any form

write me words

many many words

to replace the voice

we silenced.

I am a mirror

2009-02-15T14:12:00.003+11:00

I reflect.

I passed through the dark,

Guided by the light

Of the future I was creating

The vision always in sight

I am clothed in fire

The light surrounds me

And now there is no fear

Darkness I treat lightly

And I treasure the dark,

As it was a fire

To make me stronger

To light my desire

Mind Games

2008-11-11T09:04:00.001+11:00

She: 'I don't think we should do it'

He: 'What are you talking about?'

'I don't think we should get Junior started on chess'

'ummm, he's 4 years old, and it's as good a time to start as any - wasn't that when you started?'

'Yes, but I fear for what it will do to him.'

'You have lost it. What can go wrong with learning to play chess?'

'Well, firstly why are the pieces black and white? and why does white always have the first move? Isn't that just reinforcing the old cliches? I mean, there is no need to go with black and white.. it could have been anything, and even with black and white, why not give black the first move.. but no. White has to move first. Typical.'

'You are not serious, are you?'

'I am, think about it. And then the whole emphasis on everything being black and white. Life is not like that. It's all shades of gray. But no, they had to show everything as black or white. Where are the gray areas?'

'............'

'And then there is all this violence. Pieces are just killing each other no? No sitting down and talking about it. No diplomacy. It's cut and thrust from the moment you start. You really think that is what we want our kid to learn?'

' And if that's not enough, there is all the trickery and manipulation inherent in a game such as this. He will be learning to deceive his opponent. No, we are not starting him on chess, and that's final'.

What do you do after you fall?

2008-11-04T12:27:00.000+11:00

Nick has some thoughts

Going with the flow

2008-11-03T22:49:00.000+11:00

If you are familiar with the flow concept - you might also have been through a flow experience yourself, then you will recognise the symptoms of being in the flow - when time doesn't matter, distractions are absent and everything happens automatically - when excellence is within your grasp and things happen as they should. Everything just flows. Answers pop into your head fully formed, and even before you try the hat on, you know - it's going to fit. Or when the cricket or tennis ball is the size of a football, and your feet are dancing into position without any conscious effort on your part.

Things just flow.

And the flow experience, as the speaker says, comes after a certain threshold of effort or practise or time spent chasing a creation or a problem. And what comes from a flow experience is superior output, high quality stuff.

And it might also explain why organisations would love for their employees to be in a state of flow. Now they, that is the organisation, cannot look into your head, and see if you are in a state of flow or not. But they do know the 'symptoms' of being in flow. Time flies by and you have no idea of other stuff going on around you. So they reward the behaviour - spending time at work even after closing hours, means you must be working hard and solving big problems in a state of flow. It also shows your commitment to your organisation and work place, and it doesn't matter if you are not spending time with your family or recharging your batteries to be more productive.

Another reason why the behaviour is rewarded is because the costs of spending a lot of time at work is a evident over a longer term, the bill for which will be paid later - over a couple of years maybe. Whereas the benefit, potentially, is here and now - meeting the numbers for the quarter. Over a few years, you might be with a different organisation or a different boss - therefore very little incentive for your current manager to really think about it - the only time they will think about it is if the organisational culture tilts all the way towards actively encouraging a healthy work-life balance. If it only pays lip service to the concepts, but rewards potentially inefficient behaviour (spending 14 hours at work every day has to be inefficient) then it's a cost which the organisation bears over a long term.

And the costs are in terms of the kind of talent the organisation attracts, the lost productivity due to health issues and multiple negative effects of burn out, lower retention rates, higher wages etc.

To be fair, I am not arguing that you shouldn't be spending any time at work - many times certain projects get me so involved that I do end up working late - but only because I am in 'the flow', doing something. Not because I know that's the behaviour my organisation/boss rewards.

Behaviour tends to follow incentives, and if the reward is for the process because the output is hard to measure/can't be measured - then it's likely to cause bigger issues in the long term.

We are better off measuring output accurately and rewarding results.

Conversing with technology

2008-10-27T10:55:00.000+11:00

via Twitter - from The NYT

PEOPLE who want to improve their communication skills may one day have an unusual helper: software programs that analyze the tone, turn-taking behavior and other qualities of a conversation. The programs would then tell the speakers whether they tend to interrupt others, for example, or whether they dominate meetings with monologues, or appear inattentive when others are talking.

Read the complete story here

Of course, once you look beyond the obvious applications - you see what this means, don't you?
Google can actually launch AdSense for conversations (other such launches here )

Probably part of your mobile phone, listens to your conversation - converts to text, searches for relevant terms and pops up a 3D Holographic ad based on your location and context. So you might be in Darling Harbour, wondering where you can catch the latest movie, and up pops an Ad for a concert at the state theatre - you click on your phone for more info, see the timing, artiste and click to book, paying through your mobile, and the ticket is sent to you via text.

And you are done.

On What Makes Life Worth Living

2008-10-23T23:22:00.001+11:00

From TED Talks

Absolute reality

2008-10-21T22:50:00.003+11:00

Carrying forward a related point from the previous post absolute beliefs - do you think that
a) there is an absolute reality, which exists independent from observers.
b) there is no absolute reality, it's all subjective and dependent on who is observing
c) there is an absolute reality but we will never know it
d) there is no absolute reality and we all just plugged into the matrix.

A question which may or may not have killed Schrodinger's Cat . The death (or not) of the cat was meant to showcase the 'absurd' version of reality being cranked out by quantum physics and quantum physicists, and since then we have moved on to string theory which is even more confusing, we hope no cats were killed in the making of string theory - we would be positively gutted to hear of anymore dead (or not) cats.

And there are a lot of very very smart people trying to pull together a Grand Unified Theory of Everything which will explain everything - the Origin of The Universe, Nuclear Forces and Gravity. And a lot of not so smart people are worried that trying to verify these theories might lead to the end of the world as we know it - so I suggest that you take a look at the TED talk about A Simple Theory of Everything . I mean, what if the world does end - and they have some sort of multiple choice test to get into heaven - since there are no absolutes of right and wrong and anything goes. I suspect a theory about the universe would account for a few questions.

Think of all those virgins waiting for you.

Learning to Fly..

2008-10-19T19:30:00.002+11:00

Sher Kan is a 14 year old eagle, born and raised in captivity - an eagle with unused wings. The falconer spent 18 months preparing for Sher Kan's first flight with help from his para-glider friend. They took the eagle, via helicopter, to the top of Mont Blanc and then launched themselves from there - and the bird took flight.

It's not just a story about an eagle. It's our story, or my story. The eagle always had the tools it needed to take flight, and it even had the knowledge - hard coded into it's brain. It just didn't know it could fly.

We go through our lives the same way, rarely breaking free from the gravitational pull of mediocrity or good enough. Rarely realising that we have the ability to break free, fly high and achieve the elevation occupied by a 'chosen few'. We might take off occasionally and glimpse the beauty of life and the world from on high. But then, we get scared and tell ourselves we are not meant to fly. The safety of ground is what we deserve. And we come back to earth. The chosen few were not chosen by others, but by themselves. And it's up to us to choose the option to fly. Take off, learn to fly.

We have the tools. We have the knowledge. And there is no shortage of people willing to show us how.

But we need to flap our wings, and take the leap of faith.

Absolute beliefs

2008-10-18T23:29:00.001+11:00

I've been having long discussions with Kan (@ Lucid Dreaming) about limiting beliefs and how our mind plays tricks on us. Or rather we use the tricks as crutches, to avoid having to run hard. Or avoid being uncomfortable. Or because thats how our mind evolved because of our childhood environment. And these can be specific individual level beliefs - about what I see as my level of ability or comfort or wealth or success. These beliefs tend to be deep rooted, and unconscious, and require a great deal of cud chewing and cogitation and an a-ha moment before you get to a stage of realisation. And they manifest themselves in the walls you keep banging your head against - and you ask why does this always happen to me? - for eg: falling repeatedly for bad boys or ice maidens..

But these are micro level issues, in the sense that these are limiting beliefs held at an individual level which to a large extent are function of nurture.

On the other hand (I'm training to be an economist) you have the tricks nature plays on you through your mind - what you might call evolutionary 'beliefs' or hard coded stuff - propagation of the species kind of stuff - for eg the whole courtship ritual - which can be overcome with conscious decision making. To bring awareness to the fact that our systems have certain tendencies which are based on the need to pass on our genes - and these tendencies have conscious rationalizations in our mind - but these rationalisations are really false beliefs/tendencies, because they are a) not reached through a process of conscious reasoning and b) they are not meant to maximise individual or even potentially social outcomes - but are based on achieving optimum evolutionary outcomes ( read Eliezer Yudkowsky's post 'Why does power corrupt ')

So keeping in mind, both these macro and micro level tricks our mind plays on us, how do you decide on a code of ethics and guidelines for what you do and what you don't? (here's another post from Eli - End's don't justify the means ) So potentially the reason you didn't go through action x to achieve outcome y is because you a) you really didn't want to get y and/or b) you get a higher personal payoff by holding onto your code of ethics which prohibit action x.

So for eg: though you would do anything to say win the heart of the office beauty, you still can't woo her since she is your friend's girlfriend and your code says - Bros before h0s. Now the standard thought experiment about killing n to save n+x (where n and x >0) can be discussed.

And the second layer to it - how our reality is a manifestation of the beliefs in our mind. So the fact that I often find myself in situations where I need to do x to achieve y implies that I am consciously or sub-consciously making choices which lead me to these situations. Which requires a basic rebooting of the operating system I use, and also begs the question - is there an absolute of what's right? Or even our own absolute?

The fact that we might not have any absolutes, just relative values which we weigh up every time against the payoffs is not particularly exciting. But if you go down the road of limiting beliefs, it's hard to avoid this conclusion.

* apologies for what is a rambling and poorly constructed post, but it's midnight here and these questions have been rattling around inside my head for some time now.

** also maybe this entire post is just me rationalising, trying to stick to my behaviour and arguing against change.

*** for the record: I would have done anything, but I just couldn't do that.

btw: Is it just me or do you agree with Scott Adams - I am afraid Obama could lose the election - that's another post

Falling

2008-10-18T13:35:00.005+11:00

What suprised me was the clarity. I didn't expect my thoughts to be so clear - i thought processing would break down, with the end near. You hear about people's life flashing before their eyes, and you wonder which parts of your life are going to make it to the highlight reel. Would it be ordered chronologically? Start to end? Or in reverse chronological order like the resume we spend so much time mailing around ? Or would it be totally random bits of your life bursting through your subconscious - thoughts and moments you never expected, never suspected would be lying in wait to jump at you? That girl in the red shirt you saw at the seminar. The kindergarten teacher checking your lunch box. The freshly labeled and covered text books and note books in your 3rd standard school bag. The red converse style shoes you had as a kid. The taste of orange ice candy after a game of cricket. So it was true, my mind was wandering, and my life was flashing before my eyes. Random bits though. And not in any order. But the clarity was still there. I didn't know what I was thinking, but each thought was crystal clear. And time seemed to slow down. It's funny how they say 'the time is now!'. Isn't the time always now?

How had it come to this? The day had started innocently enough. A regular normal day in the life of a regular normal guy. A normal breakfast. And now I was falling, and a sudden end was going to terminate my fall.

Seriously, wasn't there anything else left in the highlight reel of my life?

(To be continued)

So long and thanks for all the fish.

2008-10-18T08:08:00.000+11:00

via twitter : A hedge fund manager says goodbye

It's back!

2008-10-09T11:25:00.000+11:00

The dreaded Sambharmafia is back, go say hi, and be nice.

And how many of you enjoyed the repeated comments about the overhead projector ? After just voting to spend $ 700 Bn to (as Doonesbury puts it) 'socialise risk'.

WTF story of the day

2008-10-04T18:58:00.001+10:00

If you had seen

or

or even read this .

Would you have ever bet anything on reading this today?

Sunderland manager Roy Keane has opened the door for a sensational swoop to bring former arch-rival Patrick Viera to the club from Inter Milan.

( from BBC Sport )

What's next? Zizou nominating Materazzi for Player of the Year?

Dada lives, yet again

2008-10-02T20:13:00.002+10:00

It's a bit silly, but the cricketing headlines are all about the Fab 4 getting ready to go off into the sunset, and with lots of gentle prodding, and not so subtle hints.

And keeping in mind of all they have done, I still don't say they should be given a chance to go off gently into the sunset, with their dignity intact - they should be selected purely on the basis of their form and their ability, especially their ability to win matches for India, in India.

And of course, Sourav has been shown the writing on the wall, but on the basis of his recent form does he deserve to be dropped? (Sri Lanka was a debacle for all 4)

So let's see what the figures say for the last 12 months:

Mat Runs HS Bat Av 100 Wkts Bowl Av Ct
Dravid 13 754 111 34.27 1 - - 23
Laxman 13 917 112* 50.94 2 1 21 12
Sachin 10 727 154* 45.43 2 0 - 5
Sourav 13 1076 239 44.83 2 4 43.75 7
Yuvraj 4 220 169 31.42 1 3 25.66 3

Stats from : Cricinfo

Maybe the argument is about their performance at home, so lets see their record in India for the past 12 months:

Mat Runs HS Bat Av 100 Wkts Bowl Av Ct
Dravid 6 369 111 41 1 - - 10
Laxman 6 336 112* 67.2 1 1 21 3
Sachin 3 139 82 46.33 0 0 - 0
Sourav 6 745 239 74.5 2 4 25.5 3
Yuvraj 2 203 169 67.66 1 3 22 1

And how do these guys compare with the rest of the world? (Based on their 2007/08 nos )

By season
Player	Mat	Inns	NO	Runs	HS	Ave	BF	SR	100	50	0	4s	6s	Season
JH Kallis (SA)	12	20	4	1227	186	76.68	2247	54.60	6	3	1	134	8	2007/08
GC Smith (SA)	12	20	0	1107	232	55.35	1685	65.69	3	4	0	150	3	2007/08
HM Amla (SA)	12	20	1	980	176*	51.57	1910	51.30	3	4	2	124	2	2007/08
SC Ganguly (India)	10	19	1	980	239	54.44	1482	66.12	2	5	2	118	6	2007/08
DPMD Jayawardene (SL)	7	12	1	848	213*	77.09	1628	52.08	4	1	1	94	1	2007/08
AB de Villiers (SA)	12	19	4	814	217*	54.26	1390	58.56	2	3	0	92	5	2007/08
VVS Laxman (India)	10	17	4	702	112*	54.00	1269	55.31	2	4	0	88	0	2007/08
V Sehwag (India)	5	9	0	658	319	73.11	807	81.53	2	1	0	77	11	2007/08
KC Sangakkara (SL)	6	10	0	635	192	63.50	1075	59.06	2	3	0	82	1	2007/08
SR Tendulkar (India)	7	12	2	632	154*	63.20	976	64.75	2	4	1	71	5	2007/08
ND McKenzie (SA)	6	9	1	621	226	77.62	1159	53.58	2	1	0	78	4	2007/08
R Dravid (India)	10	19	3	606	111	37.87	1692	35.81	1	3	0	88	0	2007/08

Results are, ummm, debatable

2008-09-27T20:23:00.000+10:00

The first round scored as a draw , a win to McCain or a win to Obama - depending on your source. (We are, of course, waiting for the expert's opinion )

It might be some time before we see intelligent debates in Desi politics, but it might be good idea to have public debates between the zonal selectors in the lead-up to a big series like the upcoming Ind-Aus test series. I can just see the 5 zonal selectors, with Harsha as the MC/Facilitator, rolling their sleeves up and making eloquent pitches for their candidates. And of course, what really matters who gets selected to play, anyone can get elected to the parliament.

The greatest story

2008-09-27T10:24:00.000+10:00

'These are the boring bits ' - Grand Prize winner of the greatest story never told competition, take some time out and see it, and you might also enjoy the creator's site .

And and an opportunity to change the world .

Dutch joint

2008-09-26T10:16:00.000+10:00

'A cannabis smoker was fined by Dutch police - because his joint contained tobacco. Holland has kept its liberal policy on cannabis smoking in the country's "coffee shops", even after a public smoking ban was introduced in Dutch cafes and restaurants last July. An Amsterdam police spokesman admitted it could be difficult to understand the current policy of allowing smokers to puff away on pure cannabis while fining tobacco users, reports the Daily Telegraph. "For logic it is sometimes impossible to explain, even to the Dutch," he said. "The man was not fined for smoking a cannabis joint but for smoking. You can smoke cannabis but not tobacco in coffee shops."...The man was caught lighting a hand rolled cannabis joint during a routine police check and fined because officers found tobacco mixed with the soft drug'

From Ananova, via Football 365.

The Credit Thingie

2008-09-25T23:36:00.000+10:00

Spacebar has some answers, here.

Manduka points us to some questions, here.

Whereas, Mr Buffet has something to say here.

And why $700 billion ?

Spanish Love

2008-09-23T23:30:00.000+10:00

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way
than this: where I does not exist, nor you,

so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

- sent by a friend, originally in Spanish

The Perfect Man

2008-08-14T17:10:00.001+10:00

may be found here

Read.

2008-07-30T15:06:00.000+10:00

And pass it on.

123

2008-07-04T18:59:00.004+10:00

So, I've been tagged.

1. Pick up the nearest book.

When I saw this the nearest book was my notebook at work. I am sure they don't mean for me spill details of my latest marketing brainwave. So I got home, and picked up the book which is currently sitting on top of my book pile.

2. Open to page 123.

Done

3. Find the fifth sentence.

Does that mean the fifth line, or the fifth sentence? I know they wrote sentence, but did they mean line.. decisions, decisions.

5. Post the next three sentences.

' Squatting on his lank haunches the bodygaurd sought to engage the boy's wandering attention. "Your Mightiness, this man is the inventor of the swabble."

"What's that?" '

6.Tag five people, and acknowledge the person who tagged you.

I'll leave this as voluntary - except for you, yes you, stop looking around.

You are tagged.

Failure to fulfill this tag will result in excommunication from the blogosphere and your blog will be spammed by violet pill purveyors and pen*s enhancement devices.

Ms India meets Dumb Jock?

2008-05-26T09:35:00.008+10:00

A tiara, the hushed silence followed by the applause, the sash, the arms raised in jubilation and those gorgeous lips making a big O as the reality of the triumph hits home– a lot of little kids, and some not so little kids, have this fantasy. Indeed some of these kids are little girls. And they spend many hours playing out the fantasy – dressing up in mom’s sarees, with mom’s lipstick all over their face, walking up and down an imaginary ramp, captivating the audience – in some cases where a much younger brother is involved - captive audience would be the precise term used.

And then these little girls grow up, most of them forget this dream and move on to other things – such as jobs, partying, men and/or women (as the case may be – this blog is very open minded) not necessarily in that order. Caught up in the adult life on it’s tram lines – on their way to kids, the suburban home, alcohol addiction and plastic surgery which fails to rescue the dreariness of the relationship or the self image (again – not necessarily in that order).

And some little girls don’t let go of their childhood dream. This is about one such little girl. She did all the usual modeling at home when she was knee high, and mom’s wardrobe suffered the damage with good grace. And she grew up and like all good Indian children – worked hard, studied hard – got good marks (I used to hate those kids – my parents were always wondering why I couldn’t get a better looking report card – at least once without an F would be nice)

And when she got good results, her mom would let her do commercial assignments – and that’s how she took her first baby steps in the glamour industry.

She went on to study engineering – another path breaking step – many lifetimes of research among engineering colleges has shown that

a) there are few women in engineering colleges

b) the probability of a woman being good looking and being in an engineering college is no greater than the possibility of England winning Euro 2008.

And contrary to popular belief she managed to retain her beauty throughout her education (the fact that she didn’t study in an Indian college had something to do with it – points a and b above are known axioms of the Indian education system)

Education done, it was time to get a job – and she decided global domination was the way to go – and she joined Google. Went on to become a product manager, and was all set to become a proper working adult.

But the little girl inside wasn’t able to forget her dream.

And that little girl decided that it was time to chase her dream. If she didn’t do it now, she would never be able to do it. And one thing she didn’t want, was the regret of ‘I wish I had done that’. She was going to take part in a beauty pageant.

She quit her job at Google California. Politely declined her admission invite to ISB. Came back home and set about trying to become a beauty pageant contestant.

When she discussed this with her mom, mom was hugely supportive of her decision, all she wanted was for her daughter to have no regrets in life. She said ‘Do what makes you happy.’ And this gave her strength and courage. Not that she lacked any of it.

Of course contesting a beauty pageant is no easy thing. Among other difficult things it involves eating very little – which is the main reason why I am not participating in any such thing – I can handle all the other tough parts such as being with a bunch of skimpily clad women in a room or listening to contestants bitch about each other. In fact some of my best friends are women (occasionally bitchy and occasionally … but let’s not go there)

But then it turned out that Femina Miss India would not let her compete – and not because of anything to do with beauty (as you can see – she lacks nothing in that department) but because of age – they had an age limit. And she was over it. Getting an education, and a job at Google takes up some time.

She didn’t want to hang around to compete in Mrs India.

And then someone told her about the HT Miss India World Wide competition – which is run across some 20 countries for women of Indian descent. And was being run for the first time in India as well.

She applied, and got through.

And probably regretted it many times over the next few weeks as she went through beauty pageant boot camp – only healthy food¹, and very little of it – lots of sweating and crunches and running. And she met a lot of nice people – she went prepared to face bitching and backbiting, but was pleasantly surprised to make nice friends. She was also the odd one out as almost all the contestant were from the glamour business with most of them seeking to make it big in Bollywood. And it of course made things easier for her, as she could see how important this was for her new friends – not that she wasn’t competitive – but she tried to find ways to help her fellow contestants. She wasn’t there to win or lose but to learn, and to experience. And she felt she could gain so much more if she didn’t worry about victory or defeat – indeed treating those two impostors just the same was her motto. And she was able to enjoy the competition even more because she wasn't just competing.

Her long term ambition is to work in the entertainment business, but on the business side of it – making use of her analytical skills and her mind. And she’s headed to Stanford to do her master’s in business - she gave her interviews well after she quit and came back, which makes her decision a very brave one.

Which is the main reason I am writing so much about her² – I am fascinated by people who take the chance to chase a dream. Taking the leap – without a safety net or security line – following the beat of their heart.

So here’s to Kavita Khurana - stunning, gorgeous (as you can see from her picture below) and razor sharp. But what I admire most is your bravery, and your ability to make that leap of faith. And I hope that you will continue to find success on your journey of creativity and learning.

And she did do well in the contest – voted as Miss Congeniality, I am waiting to get a CD of the show. And maybe some phone nos of her fellow contestants, if I am lucky J.

Editor’s Note:

If you think I am putting up pictures of gorgeous women and linking to their blogs just to make you come back – you won’t be wrong, but the real reason I am doing this is to write about people who make brave choices. And next in line we have

a. Avantika (who gave up her job as a lawyer to work as an HR manager in an NGO – my experience with HR professionals tells me that it’s not too far removed from being a lawyer – but don’t listen to cynical me)

b. Avantika’s very attractive husband, Kanishka: Who gave up his fastrack job in an MNC to start up a consultancy related to HR ( Seriously what’s wrong with these guys – how much HR can you have in one family? – at least their kids will be well trained)

c. N – who took a break from her job, to travel around some parts of the country in a rickshaw. She was driving it. When she was not pushing it. From Calcutta to Nepal and all that..

^{1 Correction: Apparently they feasted on Naans, Daal Makhni and Gulab Jamuns - but it sounds better to think they starved..}
²Of course, this is not an idea I can claim as mine – Po Bronson did it much better in his book – Why Do I Love These People – which you should read after you read his earlier work – What should I Do With My Life

Good Dinner Table Conversation

2008-04-28T15:53:00.002+10:00

Goes something like this

Location: Smart restaurant opposite my place

GFBA: That guy looks like Keanu Reeves with a beard.
St: (Turning around slowly - after all I was in the middle of a juicy Steak) hmmmmm.. you are right.
GFBA: Hmmmmm
St: Maybe because he is Keanu Reeves, with a beard....
GFBA: You are right..

See, even I can drop names of celebs casually.

Pretty soon I am going to be talking about the time I had dinner with Keanu Reeves.

For the record - he looked pretty good, and I am a huge fan, but we decided to act cool and not disturb his dinner - he was gracious enough to pose with the people at the table next to him, with a smile.

A fabulous start to my 10 day vacation, which ended this morning - and I need a break to recharge my batteries.

Move your big toe (and other random references)

2008-04-11T11:21:00.010+10:00

Hello,

I hope you are doing well.

And I hope that the light of love continues to burn in the eyes of your significant other, and your children (if you have been so blessed) are burping/pooping/going to school on schedule (as the case may be) or you are pleasantly engaged in the attempt to create such entities.

It is time for me to update you on the brilliant adventure of my life. You, unlike lesser mortals, don't have to wait for the book to come out to know the story of my life, you get special bite sized episodes - such as this one.

And I know, you have been waiting with bated breath, chewing your fingernails to the bone, pressing the F5 key on your browser to check for the latest on your favorite Shiju. I am sure in some unfortunate cases I might be the only Shiju you know - and though the thought might leave you depressed I can promise you that you have nothing to worry about. If you needed only one Shiju in your life, than have no doubt, that this one is the best you could do. ( I say this after having met other Shijus - and seriously, they fail to keep the honor of this magnificent name intact)

So, be that as it may, let us move onward to the story. Or as they say, the crux of the matter.

I am settling in well in my new home ( for those of you who don't know - I just moved to Sydney - and if you didn't know that I suggest you check your F5 key)

I have great italian neighbour who plies me with wine and reads me poetry and consoles me when I am shedding tears about missing all you fine people in mumbai- but I think that is more a case of her generosity than anything else you might think - and I know exactly what you are thinking. And I can walk to work. Though I still have a tendency to get late - mainly because they start work really early here (8:30 am, wtf?) and because I am unable to sleep between 2 am and 5 am. Of course, initially i would wake up to check the clock and see if the there was any sinister significance to the hour - such as 3:33 or something (as seen in 'The Exorcism of Emily Rose') - but fortunately the clock has been kind to me, if not my sleep. And the reason for this, you ask? I am sure this would make a good storyline for an episode of Dr House - I can see the whiteboard with Sleepless, 2 AM to 5 AM, Recent Move, Quit Smoking, Body Clock, The Exorcism of Emily Rose already.

Do remember, you saw it here first.

Anyway, the reason is rather simple - and no, the reason is not because my neighbour gets home from work late. For the first month I was staying in a serviced apartment, which had a weird timing system on the air conditioning. It would switch off after 4 hours. So every night, the AC would switch off around 2 AM, and within a few minutes, I would switch on. Spend anywhere between a few minutes to a few hours trying to will myself to get off the bed to switch it on. (Like Uma Thurman in Kill Bill) Come back and collapse in bed. And get late for work in the morning.

Since then, I can't sleep for more than 4 hours at a time.

So I have sleeping pills, which are of no use whatsoever. And a rose mint flavored herbal spray which is rather addictive.

I've also resumed my soccer career with a local league team, and I do my best to sleep well on saturday nights so that I am fresh for the game on Sunday. Which is bit tough because I can't use pills, or the spray or alcohol to put myself to bed. And no, I can't use that either - I need to be fresh for the game. We have our third game this Sunday - I am yet to score or assist though I've managed that in practise games. But I've had a few good moments. And hopefully will have a few more.

I also managed to make it to a concert - Sinead O'Connor with Damien Dempsey opening (you should really check out his Masai - that Irish accent is irresistible) and missed out on another one I wanted to see (KT Tunstall - sadly, this was on the same day as Sinead O'Conner) and I never even knew she was playing. But I've added her to my list of favorite artistes/stars - she has an awesome voice and is drop dead gorgeous (others being Uma Thurman, Carrie-Anne Moss, Dido, Sheryl Crow, Jennifer Connelly)

A concert here is a totally different experience to one in Mumbai - no crowds, no dust, no straining to catch a glimpse of the stage from 3 kilometres away and no trying to find a friend working for the company that sponsors the show to get tickets.

Hopefully, I wont miss Zizou's trip down under.

Will keep you posted on further developments - now where is that darn spray?

Feeling low?

2008-04-08T12:26:00.000+10:00

Laughter is the best medicine.

Pie Charts make the world go round

2008-03-19T17:28:00.003+11:00

all this and more - from here

My first time

2008-03-18T11:20:00.004+11:00

Finally. After lots of procrastination. And a few threats. And one half baked attempt. I did it.My first Urf. ( What is an Urf? )

My brief was short and simple:

a) a piece of fiction
b) serious
c) no football

I am not sure it follows the spirit of an Urf but do go and read, and let me know what you think.

Will post here later.

Maine aaj tak tum se kuchch nahin maanga..

2008-03-11T14:42:00.004+11:00

...lekin aaj maangta hoon.

I was just walking back to work, after picking up my lunch when I heard a quite voice say

'Hi, how are you doing today'.

I stopped fiddling with the iPod controls and looked up to find one of those volunteers, with a bag, a badge and a pair of the clearest blue eyes I have seen in recent times. The clarity held your attention. And the voice held it some more.

'Hello' I mumbled back.

'On your way to work?' she asked

'Yeah, just picking up some lunch and heading back'

'Ok, do you have a couple of minutes'

'Yeah sure'

'Have you heard of Amnesty International'

'Yeah sure, it's an international organisation which does all kinds of stuff for human rights and anti-violence and war crimes and all that..'

'That's correct!' she gushed, 'It's such a pleasure to meet someone who knows something about us, allow me shake your hand.'

'ummm, yeah' i mumbled some more and offered my hand, trying to juggle the pod, the glasses and the lunch in my left hand.

After some more talk, she came down to her campaign.

'We are currently running a campaign to Stop Viole nce Against Women'

I figured this was not the right time to tell her that going by my experiences in the past decade all the violence had been committed by women against me, and there was very little chance of any act of violence originating in my little peace loving brain.

' 2 out of 3 women in Australia suffer from some sort of domestic violence at the hands of their partner. Your support and contributions will go towards helping those who suffer.'

I couldn't say no after I heard all she had to say (and domestic violence is a nasty memory I am trying to forget too often - it was a big part of my childhood and my family is still dealing with the aftermath) - it's always a thought that we want to do something - and we want to change the world and we, or atleast I, wait for some fancy earth shaking opportunity in which we can save the world. Or wait till we have made it big, so that we can offer our time and money when we have plenty of both.

Of course, it's always later.

We can still change the world a little at a time. Maybe a dollar a day. That's the easiest option.

So don't just sit there, do something.

Go on, see how you can help - if just two of you do something tangible, and get two more people to do something, this would be the perfect gift.

So, I am begging you - Help. All the people. Who need just a little of your time or money.

You have plenty of both.

More about Amnesty International here.

Predictably Irrational

2008-03-06T17:43:00.002+11:00

'Predictably Irrational' is a book about the choices we make, and the tricks our mind plays on us, when we are making those choices. Promises to be an interesting read, in the meanwhile you can test your rationality in the Door Game.

Let me know how you fared. Modesty prevents me from telling you that I scored more in the second part than the first. Damn, my mind is playing tricks on me again.

Life

2008-03-06T17:15:00.004+11:00

Here

The courage to live consciously

2008-03-04T17:27:00.003+11:00

Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature,
nor do the children of men as a whole experience it.
Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure.
Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.
To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits
in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable.

- Helen Keller

Quoted by Steve in The courage to live consciously

Yes we can!

Aussie Aussie Aussie

2008-02-28T16:42:00.008+11:00

We know that readers (ok, ok, the single reader – fine!) of this blog are very discerning gentlemen (if you are a lady please leave your number in the comments section) with refined tastes and superior intelligence. And therefore they take a strong interest in foreign affairs and stuff like the socioeconomic factors which impact the length of the lower garment worn by the distaff members of the human race, and the cultural impact of human sacrifices to the great lord cthulhu. And like all average writers, I too, must take care of my audience and provide them with the kind of reading which will make for intelligent dinner table conversation, and enhance the readers possibility of contributing to the propogation of the human species – we all know how chicks dig stuff they cant understand.

Therefore, this week we shall discuss ‘foreign culture’ so that you can show what a wise (and wealthy – chicks dig the green stuff too – no we are not talking about the fungus on your boxers, dude) and well traveled gentleman you are, the topic will be ‘bar conversations with aussie gentlemen’

Ok, so you are in Oz. You survived the rubber steak they served you on Qantas, and the sniffer dogs and the customs inspection at the airport – you have stowed your luggage and changed into bata rubber chappals (referred to as Thongs by the locals – no, not those kind of thongs) and you have wonderful pair of sunglasses parked on your head and you have decided to start your immersion in aussie culture by dipping a toe at the neighbourhood drinking hole. You have practice your ‘maite’ and have the drawl down to a t. You have done your research on the beer, and know that you can’t go in and order Fosters, because it is not Australian for beeahh. But are you prepared for the biggest challenge? You don’t even know what it is, how can you be prepared? You are lucky that some dude sitting in CERN decided to make this thing called the internet so that reading this could save your sorry a**.

Enter bar

Drink in gorgeous blondes in skimpy bikinis draped all over the place. The blondes, not the bikinis dumbo.

Realise that the tree trunks against which some of them are leaning are rippling in an oddly menacing manner.

Gulp twice as you realize aforementioned tree trunks belong to her boyfriend, and are not tree trunks but his arms.

Avert eyes, and head towards bar looking sheepish while at the same time pulling the sunglasses over your eyes to hide sheepishness and assume coolness (great face saving devices, sunglasses)

Go up to the bar, and ask bartender for pint of Pure Blonde or VB or Little Creatures or Corona (Anything else and you are risking recently saved face)

Realise that you have been giving your order to the beer taps.

Remove sunglasses from eyes, locate gorgeous bar tender.

Replace jaw in socket, lift eyes a couple of inches and looking at her FACE – resubmit petition for beer of choice.

Take beer, smile say thank you (to her face) and then move towards empty table / empty space/ friends.

Take a swig of your drink, and act cool. Which means don’t open your mouth, don’t letch at the bartender from across the open spaces and act as though everything in the world bores you. The same effect can be achieved by trying to recollect the last time you were in close vicinity of such pulchritude while simultaneously trying to calculate the 4^th root of Pi. Watch the match on the telly and yell Terimaaaki¹when an Aussie wicket falls. Ok, that might be a long wait, when anything remotely exciting happens – such as the changeover of the commentary team. Smile at the bunch of aussies staring at you and say ‘ Hi, how you doing ‘ No wait, I use that elsewhere – Say ‘Hey, Wassup?’. ‘Mate’ remember to draw it out. The rest of the conversation should be pretty straightforward –

You: ‘Hey, Wassup Maite’

Aussie: Hey, enjoying the cricket?

You : Yup, you guys are finally learning to play – pretty soon we will be evenly matched if you guys keep it up

Aussie: Ha Ha Ha, you subtle sarcastic rascal you – why don’t you sleep with my girlfriend and my sister tonight? – (yeah right, what are you drinking? – aussies wont get sarcasm so easily)

Rewind: Aussie: thoughtful. Slow smile as the humor strikes – hahahaha. You guys are worse than the poms

You: yeah except that we win sometimes..

Aussie: grinning, so what do you do, my name is steve.

You: Hi, my name is (insert your name here)2 I work at (insert your job here) while auditioning for movies as a 7-11 clerk

Aussie: Oh, my friend Steve works there too? Have you met him?

You: Oh yes, Steve C is your mate? I didn’t realize he had such splendid friends who are a boon to humanity

Aussie: No no, not Steve C – Steve the guy in account.

You: Ooooh, you mean Steve Adams – yeah I know him.

Aussie: No, no – not Steve Adams, wait let me find out what his full name is – (calls girlfriend over) Hey Nicole, whats Steve’s full name?

Nicole: You mean my brother Steve?

Aussie: No, no the other Steve – the one who works at (insert name of company)

Nicole: Steve K

Aussie: Yes, Yes Steve K

You: (Politely) Sorry, I am not sure if I have met him but I’ll defnly look him up.

Aussie: Nicole, meet my new friend - he works with Steve

You: Hi Nicole, I’m (insert name)

Nicole: I am sorry, I didn’t get that, how do you spell it ?

You (giving up the ghost): Es Tee Eee Vee Eee – My friends call me Steve

This ends our current instalment of the Aussie chapter on improving your chances of contributing to the gene pool.

Previous chapters on culture here.

Previous chapters on Oz here and here.

¹ This was actually the name of a quiz team in college (I was a visiting member) – we used to say it in an anglicized manner when introducing the team so people rarely realized what we had actually said.

² Reminds me of the time we sent our team mate to present at an advertising case competition (at an equally well known institute of management in eastern India) with a deck finished at 5 am after a party – which had everything except the final tagline – we left it as insert tagline here. Which is exactly how our team mate presented it. No, we didn’t win that one.

End of Day 1

2008-02-22T13:00:00.003+11:00

We have these bi-weekly learning sessions at work – and what someone is taking up next week is ‘The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People’ – and as so often before, synchronicity touches my life again. The chapter assigned to me for preparation and discussion is chapter 2 – Begin with the end in mind. And it starts with an exercise where you close your eyes, and visualize (you guessed it) your own funeral happening a few years from now. You imagine people from the different areas in your life talking about you – what would your lover say? Your friends? Your colleagues? Your clients/business partners ?

And I was just shaking my head and thinking, there is no escaping this.

And I sat through, and read the whole chapter – and I might even give the whole book a shot (yeah I know, it’s a good one, but it’s so popular, I find it difficult to pick up anything so popular )

It goes through the placing principles at the center of your life as opposed to work/play/pleasure/partners/friends – and creating a balance among the different areas in my life.

And of course, finding out what is important for you.

In terms of fundamentals – what I will do is :

LEARN

Share what I learn or TEACH

WRITE

GROW

LOVE

PLAY

LAUGH

NURTURE

And how does this reflect in the goals I set for myself this year – earlier at a staff conference?

……………………………………………..

Fitness:

Mental: Regular reading, restart chess, eat good food, join mensa
Spiritual: Restart regular meditation/Yoga atleast 2 days a week
Physical: Regular running, play soccer for a team, and get tennis back to competitive levels

Writing:

Financial goals:

Save x%
Own a particular asset
Invest regularly

Inter - personal Goals:

Closely inspect self for commitment issues
Avoid frivolous dead end relationships
Look for mutual growth
Be genuine and make genuine friends

Guidelines for achieving goals:

The Art of Living by Epictetus

Desiderata

The Invitation

……………………………………………………….

As the psalm says (from Chaper 2 again)

‘Search your own heart with all diligence for out of it flow the issues of life.’

Do not stand at my grave and weep, for I will see you on the other side.

The End

2008-02-20T18:20:00.006+11:00

I was reading this book last night. It had this conversation between an old couple. Talking about what they should have done. And could have done. And the chances they didn’t take.

And it’s something I have talked about before.

And wondered about too, what is really important to you?

When you are sitting on your bed, making your peace with the world, at the end of your life – what are you going to regret?
The chances you didn’t take, or the silly risks you did?
The book you didn’t write or the time you spend chasing big bucks and promotions at work?
The clothes you didn’t buy or the places you didn’t visit?
The people you had a fight with or the ones you didn’t spend enough time with?
Do you have a filter right now, to figure out the important choices for you?
And if you do, are you using that knowledge you have, to make those tough choices?

Or are you living in default, moving along with the default choices, which don’t require much thought, and don’t offer too much resistance.

And have you thought about the reverse case. What if you lose one of your friends to death?
What are your regrets then? Did you tell them all that you should have? Could have?
Do you end up wishing that you had few more days, or weeks, to tell that friend how much she/he means to you?
Do you remember the argument you had? Or the anger you felt?

What would you do?

These are some answers I am looking for, as I look to enact my death. In the sense of imagining my last day on earth and seeing what it is I’d rather be doing.

And that means a few days off.

A few days of electronic silence.

Feel free to leave flowers.

Growth. Change. Constant. Loss. Gain. Pain? Joy!

2008-02-18T11:30:00.003+11:00

No single thing abides,
But all things flow
Fragment to fragment clings
And things thus grow.

- Lucretius, On the Nature of Things

(hat tip to a very wise woman - who sent me this when i was in school)

As i struggle with limits, and boundaries and try to make the most of my many deficiencies - I'm also struggling to find out whether I am taking the easy way or the hard way? I've always been a fan of taking the tougher option, not that I am a masochist or anything, but sometimes the bigger rewards lie behind the tougher option. So then, is quitting the tougher option - even if it never was an option? Or is not?

Of course, the answer could be simple - follow your heart. And let what will be, be.

I just started soccer training this last week. And all though the first couple of sessions were pure misery ( it's been close to a year since I did some proper training - thanks to an ACL injury) but things are getting better.

And I have two options for teams - one is a very good team, with a lot of good players where I doubt if I would make it to the playing 11 (given my current form and fitness) - the other option is an average team with players who are not as good as the first option - which probably means more playing time, and also more work for me.

So both options would call for some hard work. Option a - just to keep up and break into the team, Option b - to win games, and make the most out of the team.

It's almost exactly like the difference between a joining a big established multinational firm and joining a boutique type start-up. Both provide different learning experiences.

As of now, I am training with big team on weekdays, and playing with the small team on weekends. But it's only been a week. That's 3 games, 2 goals, some embarrassing slip ups, a couple of good moments, lots of agony :-) and stiffness - and no smoking - except for the urge to gorge on junk food post the game. And the fact that I feel so good post training - I get home at 10:30 PM and cant sleep till well past midnight.

So let's see how these choices play out.

FIFA meets Crouching Tiger

2008-02-05T12:16:00.001+11:00

Réinvente ton jeu
Video sent by ElectronicArts

www.video.fifastreet3.fr

The boys are back in town

2008-01-25T16:33:00.001+11:00

This is by far, the best Australian Open I have seen in the recent past. The reigning big man on court has come through some tough challenges and he faces at least two more big matches before he can regain his Australian crown. It is possible that Djokovic might get the better of Fed, as he did in last year’s Masters. But it seems unlikely. Fed has been playing well, and though the match against Tipsarevic saw him wobble before he came back to assert himself, it is likely that might step up his game for the final weekend. And that should be a match worth watching.

Jo Wilfried Tsonga has had a fairytale run to his first Grand Slam final – oddly befitting a man whose name sounds like something Wilbur Smith might use for one of his characters. And his demolition of Rafael Nadal in yesterday’s final was not something many people would have foreseen. Nadal, after all, is the 2nd best player in the world – a fighter, a retriever and already one of the all time clay court greats. And had he not had the misfortune to be playing at the same time as Fed – he would have been a dominant No 1 in his own right. But not last night. Nadal could just watch as his opponents serves whizzed past him. Nadal’s backhand was left woefully exposed. His second serve was treated with disdain, slapped away. His attempted passes failed to penetrate and often came back as unreachable drop shots. And it was all Tsonga – close to 40 winners, Nadal had just 4 unforced errors! And the first time Nadal held any break points was the fourth game of the third set – such was the dominance of Tsonga’s serve. And even then, Tsonga held on.

Federer vs Tsonga should be match worth watching.

And it seems like this is a match up we will be seeing a lot more often.

India's entry to the Oscars

2007-12-14T18:00:00.001+11:00

" When God became silent, Bahadur became violent! "

Violent indeed - an assault on copywriting, moviemaking, audiences, the english language. Even on religion.

The Lord should speak to Bahadur.

So, you think you can write?

2007-12-12T20:59:00.000+11:00

The World's Fastest Taxi Driver

2007-12-12T20:17:00.001+11:00

...that would be Michael Schumacher

"He drove at full throttle around the corners and overtook in some unbelievable places." After giving the cabbie an unforgettable experience, Schumacher also gave him a 100 Euro tip.

From the Beeb

Religious Uprising?

2007-11-30T19:23:00.000+11:00

Headline of the week:

Haj pilgrims caught with huge cache of Vi*gra, po*n

Too many possibilities here - is it for the 1000 virgins promised in the afterlife? Or is it for raising their 'consciousness' to the next level?

Crush on your teacher?

2007-11-26T21:20:00.000+11:00

All of us have had a crush on one (or more) of our teachers/profs, but some students really lucked out - atleast until their ideal teacher was suspended for indulging in activities 'not compatible with education'.

It makes you wonder, is it the right thing to do? I mean it's not like she was doing it in school - or with her students. And as long as she is a competent teacher why would you want to remove her just because her extra curricular activities are of a different nature?

And if it is because she might be distracting the students from the subject at hand, atleast attendance won't be a problem for her students. To say nothing about increased motivation etc.

Exquisite Joy

2007-10-13T03:32:00.000+10:00

It's better to be alone,
in the darkness
with the memory of company
to share my solitude.

Childhood memories,
sepia tinted images
that float slowly to
the surface of awareness.

The first kite,
A cat sleeping on
my belly
Games of hide and seek.

But the pictures i call up
are not from ages ago,
but a lot closer to now
ever present.

Not nostalgia,
but a bitter sweet
pain from a now
that is not now.

Pain that is not past,
and not pain yet
strong and fragile
an exquisite joy

Insanity?

2007-10-05T13:49:00.001+10:00

A beautiful montage.

To His Coy Mistress

2007-09-24T04:21:00.000+10:00

To His Coy Mistress

Had we but world enough, and time,
This coyness, Lady, were no crime
We would sit down and think which way
To walk and pass our long love's day.
Thou by the Indian Ganges' side
Shouldst rubies find: I by the tide
Of Humber would complain. I would
Love you ten years before the Flood,
And you should, if you please, refuse
Till the conversion of the Jews.
My vegetable love should grow
Vaster than empires, and more slow;
An hundred years should go to praise
Thine eyes and on thy forehead gaze;
Two hundred to adore each breast,
But thirty thousand to the rest;
An age at least to every part,
And the last age should show your heart.
For, Lady, you deserve this state,
Nor would I love at lower rate.

But at my back I always hear
Time's wingèd chariot hurrying near;
And yonder all before us lie
Deserts of vast eternity.
Thy beauty shall no more be found,
Nor, in thy marble vault, shall sound
My echoing song: then worms shall try
That long preserved virginity,
And your quaint honour turn to dust,
And into ashes all my lust:
The grave's a fine and private place,
But none, I think, do there embrace.

Now therefore, while the youthful hue
Sits on thy skin like morning dew,
And while thy willing soul transpires
At every pore with instant fires,
Now let us sport us while we may,
And now, like amorous birds of prey,
Rather at once our time devour
Than languish in his slow-chapt power.
Let us roll all our strength and all
Our sweetness up into one ball,
And tear our pleasures with rough strife
Thorough the iron gates of life:
Thus, though we cannot make our sun
Stand still, yet we will make him run.

- Andrew Marvell

Again, lines from this were used in a book i recently finished, and since i am in the
mood for poetry these days, i had to track down the full poem.

Chappell speak

2007-09-18T20:39:00.000+10:00

Chappell told Times Now: "I feel Sachin and Ganguly should lead the team. MS Dhoni would not be able to cope with the pressure"

Seriously.

You've got mail?

2007-09-18T17:30:00.001+10:00

'A Bosnian couple are getting divorced after finding out they had been secretly chatting each other up online using fake names. Sana Klaric, 27, and husband Adnan, 32, from Zenica, poured out their hearts to each other over their marriage troubles, and both felt they had found their real soul mate. The couple had met in an online chat forum while he was at work and she in an internet cafe, and started chatting on under the names Sweetie and Prince of Joy. The pair eventually decided to meet up - but there was no happy ending when they realised what had happened. Now they are both filing for divorce - with each accusing the other of being unfaithful'.

- Football365's non footballing story of the day.

The ideal couple, made for each other - seems sad that they are splitting up. Especially since they fell for each other twice over - and it's not really cheating is it ? - after all, they were cheating on each other with each other. Is this the modern day reversal of the Gifts of the Magi?

Speaking of which there is a new site - which helps you find buy gifts for your friends and family and it's called Magi's Gift.

Of course you don't need to visit any site if you are looking to buy me a gift - I have a wish list!

Happy shopping, and don't chat with strangers!

Rilke on Love

2007-09-14T19:46:00.000+10:00

Rainer Maria Rilke is considered one of the German language's greatest 20th century poets. His haunting images tend to focus on the difficulty of communion with the ineffable in an age of disbelief, solitude, and profound anxiety — themes that tend to position him as a transitional figure between the traditional and the modernist poets.

He wrote in both verse and a highly lyrical prose. His two most famous verse sequences are the Sonnets to Orpheus and the Duino Elegies; his two most famous prose works are the Letters to a Young Poet and the semi-autobiographical The Notebooks of Malte Laurids Brigge. He also wrote more than 400 poems in French, dedicated to his homeland of choice, the canton of Valais in Switzerland.

source Wikipedia.

Quoted often by Henry and Clare in The Time Traveller's Wife (by Audrey Niffenegger )(also being made into a movie )

Recent events conspired put this book in my hands a second time - and like all good books, it just gets better with every reading. Losing none of it's haunting out-of-this-world quality - leaving you hungry for more while at the same time you feel that the surfeit of emotion coming through the words into you will cause a soft but violent explosion in your mind.

Leaving you with Rilke on Love

"...each should stand guard over the solitude of the other..."

Enough is enough..

2007-09-11T02:25:00.000+10:00

I have waited, and waited, and waited..and then waited some more.

and still no one has turned up to interview me. It is time for me to take my destiny in my own hands (and no, that's not what they are calling it nowadays) and use Ctrl C ..Ctrl V to create another post - reminds me of good ole college days - (many thanks to facebook apps)

What is your favorite song of all time?
Iris or Wish you were here or November Rain

Favorite element?
water..

What was your last thought?
Who am i going to vote for in 2008

Who are you going to vote for in 2008?
Zizou!

Juice and crackers or milk and cookies?
Juice and cookies?

Favorite fruit?
Strawberries - and bananas on toast!

Which is worse? A bad laugh or a bad cough?
bad laugh - you can always cure the cough

Are you a cat or a dog person?
Cats, anytime

Do you eat cold cereal at night?
doesnt everyone?

Kill the spider or let it out?
find another one and let them at each other

Walking past a beggar, spare change or ignore?
ignore - saving up for istanbul & madrid ..

What is your favorate Pj Fabric
Linen

Where do you want to travel next?
Istanbul, Madrid, Greece, Egypt..

What would you do if Michael Jackson asked you out
Beat it

What is your favorite food?
lebanese, italian, south indian

What is your favorite place?
a beach anywhere ..

If you could have one super human power what would you choose?
an IQ of 200, and Spidey's skills would be cool too..

Have you had a beer in the last week?
weeeeeeell - i would have on friday - but i had this soccer thing on sat ..

Vitamin Water or Gatorade?
I get high on Gatorade

Favorite body part?
eyes, to start with..

Flip flops or sandles?
flip flops ..always

What do you do on fridays?
prepare for saturday morning soccer

How tall are you?
5 10

Do you like bananas?
with toast

First person to leave a disparaging comment will be interviewed.

Are you Simpsonized yet..

2007-08-14T18:09:00.000+10:00

Taking the cue from certain well known and extremely popular bloggers, I too shall populate this blog with my pictures - my pictures will soon outnumber 'one night in paris' videos - although they might fail to provide the same amount of non-intellectual stimulation viewers would derive from one night.. but what the hell - there can be no accounting for tastes.

So let us start this new phase with a Simpsonized pic of me

The next step obviously is write posts about sex.

Serious posts about sex - and gender issues.

I am going to be the first masculinist blogger to stand up the slings and arrows of outrageous feminism and by opposing them shall hope to get a gazillion hits.

So there.

Myfootballclub.blogspot.com anyone?

2007-08-02T22:00:00.000+10:00

Website MyFootballClub has achieved its target of recruiting 50,000 fans - only three months after launching its bid to take over a football club.

Four clubs have already approached the website, which will now collect £35 from each member towards a £1.4m takeover fund to buy a club.

Members will have the right to vote on all major decisions affecting the club.

From BBC Sport

I am a little wary of management by committee, but it is a great idea otherwise. How many members would i need to buy Real Madrid, I wonder?

Who's your Dada?

2007-08-02T21:36:00.000+10:00

Mat Runs HS BatAv 100 50 W BB BowlAv 5w Ct St

a. 7 497 100 45.18 1 3 2 1/11 39.50 0 5 0
b. 7 376 129 31.33 1 1 - - - - 6 0
c. 6 272 101 38.85 1 0 1 1/68 125.00 0 3 0
d. 11 630 254 39.37 1 2 0 - - 0 5 0
e. 10 541 180 30.05 1 2 11 3/33 24.45 0 8 0

a. is Saurav's record since he made his comeback.
b. is Dravid's record since Saurav's comeback.
c. is Saurav's record in 2005/06 till he was dropped.
d. is Sehwag's record for the same period - 2005/06 when Saurav was dropped.
e. is Sehwag's record for the 10 matches before he was dropped.

Your conclusions?

ps: sorry about the alignments - cant figure this out..

The Camera that walks?

2007-08-02T21:32:00.000+10:00

Once upon a time, there was this Cat - called Mr Lee. Mr Lee's owner decided that he wanted to find out what his cat was upto during the day. So he fitted him with a Kitty Cam. And the results are quite enthralling.

90 Minutes for Mandela

2007-07-18T22:02:00.000+10:00

The world's top soccer stars, past and present, are turning out in '90 Minutes for Mandela' to celenbrate Mandiba's 89th birthday - an Africa XI vs a Rest of the World XI

During his incarceration Mr Mandela used to watch the Makana FA games from his cell window, until the authorities built a wall to stop him seeing the matches, reports the AP news agency.

Teams given include players below, though earlier reports had said that Zizou and Materazzi would also turn out (on the same team obviously)
Africa XI

Coaches: Jean Manga (CMR) Jomo Sono (RSA)

Goalkeepers: Badou Zaki (MOR) Jacques Songo'o (CMR)

Defenders: Austin Eguavoen (NGA) Mark Fish (RSA) Stephen Keshi (NGA) Doctor Khumalo (RSA) David Obua (UGA) Stephen Tataw (CMR) Okechukwu Uche (NGA)

Midfielders/Attackers: Abedi Pele (GHA) Daniel Amokachi (NGA) Kalusha Bwalya (ZAM) Samuel Eto'o (CMR) Hossam Hassan (EGY) Lomana LuaLua (DRC) Rabah Madjer (ALG) Pedro Mantorras (ANG) Phil Masinga (RSA) François Oman Biyik (CMR) Dennis Oliech (KEN) Samson Siasia (NGA) George Weah (LBR)

Team colours: White/White/White

Rest of the World XI

Coaches: Roy Hodgson (ENG) (current Finland coach) Claude Le Roy (FRA) (current Ghana coach)

Goalkeeper: Andoni Zubizaretta (ESP)

Defenders: Zoubaier Baya (TUN) Christian Karembeu (FRA) Gary Mabbutt (ENG) Patrick M'Boma (CMR) Santos Muntubile (DRC) Lucas Radebe (RSA)

Midfielders/Attackers: Ali Daei (IRN) Emilio Butragueno (ESP) Stéphane Chapuisat (SUI) Youssouf Fofana (FRA/CIV) Julen Guerrero (ESP) Ruud Gullit (NED) Joo Sung Kim (KOR) Leonardo Nascimento de Araujo (BRA) Pele (BRA) Fernando Redondo (ARG) Wynton Rufer (NZL) Iván Zamorano (CHI)

Team colours: Black/Black/Black

Truly the beautiful game.

Take the blue pill.

2007-07-15T19:04:00.000+10:00

The Meatrix has you.

You have a choice - to fight back.

Spread the word about the Meatrix.

I wonder..

2007-07-10T20:29:00.000+10:00

Does he keep them all in one place? And sit in front and admire them?

Or does he have one each in every room in house, so that he can see one, no matter which room he goes to? Now that he has 5 of them.

And if he is the greatest of all time yet, how long before he surpasses him?

Rapidex Graduate?

2007-06-29T23:46:00.000+10:00

I am at a loss for words. As is the author of the sign.

(via email from DJ)

A farm in New York

2007-06-28T19:57:00.000+10:00

Sometime in the near future, residents of New York will be able to walk over to their neighbouring strawberry farm and pick up fresh produce.

Atleast that’s what this article says:

Enter vertical farming -- farming in skyscrapers several dozen stories high. Dr. Dickson Despommier, a professor of public health and microbiology at Columbia University, developed the idea with contributions from his students. Dr. Despommier claims that vertical farms could do more than just solve future food shortages. They could also stave off global warming, raise standards of living in the developing world and change how we get our food and dispose of waste. It may sound far fetched, but vertical farming is actually a very real possibility for the future.

Then AB Junior wouldn't need to go all the way to UP to become a farmer - Lokhandwala would be good enough!

Champions!

2007-06-18T06:53:00.000+10:00

It's been a long time coming, but it's finally here!

Real Madrid have won La Liga on the final day of the most exciting title chase in recent times - anywhere in Europe! A fairy tale finish for Beckham, cheered on by Nadal and Tom Cruise.

Reyes comes on a substitute to score the equaliser in the second half- after Real go down 0-1 in the 17th minute.

And he doubles his contribution to seal the game and the title after a Diarra header was scrambled over the line by the goalie.

Real Rules!

But we still miss you Zizou!

WANTED!

2007-06-09T13:35:00.000+10:00

No, I am not standing for elections again, thank you. And no, this is not one of those personal ads with 24 of the 26 alphabets, the ones which go 'SNWM LF AQF/RR/MQF with F18+ Pref AMWRP'.

Actually this post is precipitated by good friends/roommates who are inconsiderate enough to get married and move to distant parts of mumbai - and friends who go and get involved in dalliances which might potentially in the distant future result in their married and moving to distant parts of mumbai (distant from me ie) - they do all this with complete and utter disregard for my needs and desires. Friends these days are so selfish, I tell you.

Cut back to distant past - when friends where friends and roomies were roomies (and not married to women they loved and living in parts of mumbai which are visible only on the international map) - and every saturday morning used to be movie time! We were fortunate enough to have a 5 day week, and every saturday we went the nearest multiplex and caught the latest release - irrespective of quality, reviews, star power etc ( which saw us watching cinematic classics such as the Bullet Proof Monk )

This would be followed by a leisurely lunch, some bowling or pool and lots of fun. And we would make it back just in time to avoid the mad evening traffic, sit and drink a few beers and live the good life. And maybe go out a beer or two later in the evening. Follow it up with Sunday morning soccer. And there you have the 7 simples steps to Nirvana every weekend (some purchases necessary).

However, roomies and friends post that have failed to live upto the stellar example set by best roommate/friend ever (atleast until he got hitched). Some of them (gasp) don't even play football. This is probably what they mean by the decay of civilisation.

However, we shall arrest decay of civilisation. We shall find good movie buddy who has the correct lack of discernment and does not turn nose up at all time classics such as Bullet Proof Monk and National Treasure. But does draw the line at watching Don, (insert combination of nK and mG) or Shoot out at Lokhandwala.

There are a lot of friends with whom movie watching is a veritable pleasure (this means you, so i hope we are still going to catch that one - right?) but sadly this arrangement lacks the stability of yore. Where are the Snowdens of yesteryear?

Therefore

Wanted: One movie buddy

Requirements:
a)Should watch most english movies

b)Should not be living in distant parts

c)Should be single, having 5 day week.
or
d) Married to partner who has 6/7 day week and can dedicate saturday mornings to movie buddy

e)Understands the importance of tele-booking/net booking

f)Should not be type to provide critical analysis and deconstruction of the movie with words of wisdom such as - 'the characters lacked depth and were more like cardboard characters' - or - 'he failed to develop the secondary plotline '

g)Pays for own tickets and food/Pays alternately for tickets/food

f)Desirable but not necessary - Should be gorgeous, single woman with Short Hair, Ability to Ride Bike, and Attitude to Match.

All applications will be treated in strict confidentiality.
Please contact using email given on sidebar.

Cats again

2007-06-07T22:00:00.000+10:00

I have written about bathing cats before - but not as eloquently as the Bud Herron here

Sample this

Know that a cat has claws and will not hesitate to remove all the skin from your body. Your advantage here is that you are smart and know how to dress to protect yourself. I recommend canvas overalls tucked into high-top construction boots, a pair of steel-mesh gloves, an army helmet, a hockey face mask and a long-sleeve flak jacket.

The rest of it is just as good, and you can restrain your urge to break out into peals of laughter while reading this - then you are stronger than most men (and a few women)

Really hot videos

2007-06-01T17:59:00.001+10:00

Soccer stars rescue The Ball

Henry wreaks havoc at home

Ronaldinho raises the bar

Ronnie ends the debate.

Happy Birthday!

2007-05-31T22:28:00.000+10:00

Please stop by here and wish him a Happy Birthday.

All together now,

"Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday dear Inexile,
Happy Birthday to you"

He'll probably shoot me the next time he sees me, but what the heck!

ps: thats just a bikini cake, we don't have that kind of programming on this blog during the day

The Moos have it!

2007-05-31T17:32:00.000+10:00

So you read his blog. And you are a big fan.

And you are wondering what can you do to show your admiration for the king ?

Look no further - this is exactly what he needs to keep his 'muse' from deserting him. and much amoosement will follow.

I wonder if this is inspired by the cow creamer?

Next year you can send him the beer mug version.

The ultimate 360 racing setup

2007-05-28T20:26:00.001+10:00

Now i know what i want on my birthday.

This

Don't miss the comments.

Zidane, Schumi at French GP

2007-05-28T18:49:00.000+10:00

From here

Michael Schumacher will drive French footballing legend Zinedine Zidane around a lap of the Magny-Cours circuit when the two attend the French Grand Prix next month. Former Real Madrid and France ace Zidane has been announced as the guest of honour at his country’s home grand prix and will make his appearance on Saturday June 30

Zizou also handed out the trophies at the French Open in 2005, and what a photo opp it would have been to see Federer and Zizou shaking hands - but that was Nadal vs Puerta, which Nadal won.

Someone, anyone - please send me tickets!

Dumb jock, moi?

2007-05-25T18:14:00.000+10:00

Since my dumb jock career has been put on hold temporarily, i am now trying to explore other facets of my personality.

This is an attempt to be the complete man so that i can aspire to wear Raymond suitings and shirtings.

The first step is to expose my self to proper civilising influences such as refined books and foreign movies which are the staple diet of the modern, refined and complete man.

Which is why I ended watching Paris, Je t'aime at a suburban theatre with certain literary types (they prefer to avoid any publicity about my association with them until I can achieve the proper degree of refinement and completeness)

And it was brilliant (a must see). Some of the stories where truly heartwrenching and nearly got tears to my eyes. The performances were good too - with most of the stories leaving you wanting more. Some of them could and should be made into fuller length movies just so that i can get more of them.

It's funny how some friendships and some meetings can be like that. Some friends you are familiar with - like the work of well liked directors - you are always ready to meet up, whether it's 5 mins since the last time you met or 5 years. Some start easily and end easily with their proper 15 minutes, and still others start abruptly and end abruptly, but leave you wishing for more.

Returning to my complete man theme, watching french, japanese and italian movies is only the first step towards becoming a refined, cultured and sensitive individual.

The next step is to attend blog parties, where you can discuss the foreign language movies you have seen with other like minded individuals.

Luckily for me (and you) there is one happening next month.

Leave comments here or here to prepare people for your entrance.

Although the cost of entry is Rs 150, make sure you mug up on your culture stuff before you drop in.

And practise your lines you might say

"Sometimes you see someone and you feel that you would have lost something incredible, something life changing if you did not speak to the person. That it was destiny that brought you here and now you must speak and reach out, before the door closes."

or you might ask

"Do you like jazz?"

I shall leave before my dumb jock self asserts itself, and yeah, Forza Pippo! Forza Milan!

First Love

2007-05-22T19:24:00.000+10:00

The earliest memory I have of her is from ’82 or so (yeah, I am ancient – that’s where all the wisdom comes from) – someone in my society introduced me to her. The first meeting did not leave a very strong impression and I didn’t expect her to become what she means to me today. In fact, at that point in time, she was not even my secondary interest – probably tertiary or whatever comes after that.

But over the years, I kept on meeting her and I really started enjoying her company – fool that I was – I thought I loved her then, but how little did I understand love and how little did I understand of her.

The latter years of school really brought me close to her as I discovered new facets of my personality – there was so much more I could do. But I really didn’t see enough of her – home was a strict place with no time for fun – only studies and board exams.

And then I went off to college in a different city – and I no longer stayed with my family. And I renewed my friendship with her, and my passion reached a whole new level. I used to spend time with her almost every evening and that used to be the best part of my day. Three years passed by in a flash, and my best memories were of the time spent with her.

And then I entered the ‘real world’. I started working, and work life left little time for such flippant pleasures as spending time with the love of your life – of course I didn’t know it then. And I didn’t realize that I missed her. I just felt a vague unease that there is something missing. But I was working hard, and pursuing my goals, and I didn’t have enough time for her, or even enough time to think of her. But there came a time, when I achieved some of my goals. And I went of to business school.

And voila, there she was again, a part of my life. And I rediscovered a hunger for her which had only got keener with the passing of time. And I felt so good to be back with her. Very few feelings could compare with sheer joy, and the vitality I felt when I was playing around with her. I sometime felt that I would die purely due from the excess of joy I felt. I felt that if somebody pricked me with a pin, I would explode and happiness would come rushing out in the form incandescent light.

These happy times didn’t last long - 2 years rushed by and i was out again.

Back to the ‘real world’. And I shuttled around spending a few months in Cochin, a few months in Chennai before ending up in Mumbai. The difference this time was I knew what I was missing and could not but wait for the moment when I could renew my relationship with her.

And I would sit in meetings and dream about how she felt, and fantasise about spending time with her.

We did catch up again – but the hectic pace of Mumbai life meant that we met up only on weekends. And although I felt even more strongly about her – our relationship lacked the stability it had earlier. Frequent disappearances had left me badly suited to match her requirements. But I didn’t give up and kept on working on it.

Even over the past few years there have been highs and lows – like the 8 – 10 months last year, when she was completely out of my life barring the few occasions when our paths happened to cross – and I remembered how happy she made me.

Or like last July when I was serving my notice period and could leave early every day to meet her.

The new job doesn’t allow for too much time on weekdays, but I do manage to make time on weekends for her.

And she is a jealous lover now, she doesn’t like me drinking, or staying out late, and any smoking from my side has the potential to completely destroy my capacity for joy with her. So I plan my weekends around her. Some friends are not happy that i leave parties early - and some friends are unhappy that i dont turn up for quizzes.

But last Saturday I had an alumni part which happens once a year. And I knew I couldn’t miss it. So I went, and I drank. Although she was always at the back of my head - i did stay out and have a good time. It was quite late by the time I left.

And when I woke up next morning to meet up with her I was not my usual self, just a little slower. And a little heavier.

And when I got down to juhu for to meet up with my first love, soccer, and my weekend soccer game I knew that i was not going to have my best game.

And mid game, I heard the dreaded crack – my left knee was pointing one way – my right foot the other.

Yesterday evening, the doctor said that I might have ruptured my Anterior Cruciate Ligament. A fairly common injury among us soccer stars :-) - Owen, Ronnie etc

That means another 6-8 weeks without her. Potentially 6 months. With lots of physiotherapy and discipline.

With the corporate tourney around the corner and my debut in the IIIrd division just a month away – it’s rather heartbreaking.

Everything happens for the best, and I am sure there is some good here.

So until I can go back to my first love, I am available for weekend plans - the doc says no dancing though.

Ps: Soccer is just my first love, she is my greatest love!

pps: Resources on ACL

What are the anterior cruciate ligaments?
The knee is stabilized by four main ligaments,: 2 collateral ligaments (medial and lateral) and 2 cruciate ligaments both anterior (front) and posterior (back). The cruciate ligaments attach to the femur (thigh bone) and travel within knee joint to the upper surface of the tibia (shin bone). The ligaments pass each other in the middle of the joint forming a cross shape, hence the name "cruciate".
The anterior cruciate ligament (ACL) prevents the tibia from shifting forwards below the femur. The posterior ligament prevents backwards displacement of the tibia. Both ligaments are vital for the stability of the knee particularly in sports that require a lot of twisting and changing of direction such football and rugby.

How is the ACL injured?

The ACL is injured either through twisting the knee or through an impact to the side of the knee - often the outside, such as a rugby tackle.

Most ACL injuries come from twisting of the knee when the foot is firmly planted on the ground, deceleration or landing from a jump. If the ACL is injured through impact then it is very likely the medial ligaments and the menisci may also be injured - this known as "O'Donohue's triad".

Preventing ACL Injuries: Cannot really be prevented as these are one off cases. But some information here

Visceral response

2007-05-21T17:31:00.000+10:00

When St was born, the "Goddess of Love" was in Taurus the Bull...proverbially, the most stubborn of the twelve signs. So, does St have a thing for rigid, dogmatic people? The real point here is that St responds in a viscerally romantic way to people who take PROMISES very "stubbornly" indeed...individuals who radiate a kind of down-to-earth determination to "hang in there" in sane, stable relationships. Even though they're ready and willing to do their part of the necessary work, they have little patience for "unnecessary" psychological complications or emotional self-indulgence. The natural lover is a sensual, physical creature who knows exactly when and how simply to touch St, a stroke of the hair, taking the hand--and who expects the same. Part of the magic of such a relationship certainly lies in its deep exploration of the simple, ancient COMFORTS of ongoing love. Naturally, sex is part of that, but what we're getting at here is more broadly based: The gentle ease of familiarity; the unpretentious freedom from "posturing" it produces; the deep body-knowledge that lets two sleepy lovers choose the same moment at 4:01 AM to roll over and sleep on their other sides--the ancient animal-wisdom no human words can ever capture.

Right.

But i do have a thing for people who keep their word, who mean what they say, and who play no games. Who are not with you because they need someone, but because they want you. Who are completely honest with themselves and with others. Who don't tolerate deception and would never deceive.

I also have a thing for smart women, sporty women.

And my liking for women on bikes is well documented.

Of course my parents have a different set of qualifications they would like to see in their son's mate:

a) Mallu (thankfully they haven't come up with south mallu or north mallu)
b) Catholic ( I beleive they would relax a for the right b)

Of course, their wish list has absolutely no bearing on my choice. And considering my growing senility they would probably be happy just to see me settle down. Forget a and b.

Kittens, again

2007-05-17T19:58:00.000+10:00

i am getting all sentimental and teary eyed now.

From happier times?

2007-05-15T23:22:00.000+10:00

the story

and yeah,

my cat would have kicked your cat's butt

Insufficient dowry?

2007-05-10T21:50:00.000+10:00

Absolutely hilarious!

ps: press the pause, wait for it to load and then press play

New posts

2007-05-10T20:35:00.000+10:00

Some new stuff on the Photo blog - where you can see some paparazzi being shot and Psyche blog.

You can say one's for the eye and the other for the 'I'.

My Hidden Passion?

2007-05-07T21:43:00.000+10:00

Your Hidden Passion Number is 1

You have a strong drive to stand out. You have a great ambition and desire to accomplish. You are highly competitive and want to be the best and the first in everything you do. You are highly energetic and creative. You are capable of influencing and even dominating others. You have highly developed political skills, and can succumb to manipulation unless your ideals are high.

Ironically, there are times when you lack confidence, especially at an earlier age, but you have the strength to overcome this obstacle.

You are a survivor, a warrior, a leader. Many great athletes and politicians have this number as a Hidden Passion.

Too many ones (6 or more in a name of average length), can make a person bullish, aggressive, violent, even tyrannical

And I always thought I was a No 10.

Cross posted here

See anything you like?

2007-05-03T15:59:00.000+10:00

The weekend is here!!

2007-04-30T18:11:00.000+10:00

Two whole days off! In the middle of the week. And I just cant wait to get home. Why you ask? I have been searching for a couple of books, and they just got delivered today morning - now i feel that i just cant resist the urge to finish them off now. will this day never end?

So mid week week end is going to be spent

a) reading

b) watching

c) playing

Rat-Tag-Tag-Tag-Tag

2007-04-30T16:57:00.000+10:00

Pri got me, although i do think i just did this some time back.

But here goes, 7 Random facts about me:

1. I share my birthday with David Ogilvy,Lionel Messi, Juan Roman Riquelme - and was born 1 day after my biggest idol - Zinadine Zidane (I also created a Cancerian soccer team here - and now that i the Cricket World Cup is over I am thinking of doing a cricket one as well - but who would lead? Ponting or Saurav?)

2.I am currently obsessed with Amul Probiotic Ice Cream - I am totally loving it!

3. I believe I am blessed and born lucky - things always work out for me, in the end - after some excitement ( I have been in a burning bus, close to drowning and i am not talking about mumbai rains, fallen into open man holes, almost mugged during my exchange term)

4. I would love to become a soccer player, but I also feel that it would deny me a chance to express myself intellectually ;-)

5. I can raise one eye brow - and not because of the Rock. As a kid. my sis kept on raving about this one teacher of hers who used to do this, so i worked hard on learning this very important skill. I also learnt to wiggle my ears, another equally important skill.

6. I have an automatic crush response on most smart women who have short boy cut hair - like the time i was at one of these classy joints in Pigalle (we got thrown out later) - where I forgot the dancers and was trying to chat up the barmaid - she was awesome.

7. I used to teach, and I used to enjoy it. Actually barring my first job from campus, I love all the jobs I've had.

And these are totally non-random facts - my left brain is not working at all. Or should that be right brain?

Errr..

2007-04-18T23:38:00.000+10:00

Eragon is a masterpiece. A masterpiece of marketing and/or packaging. The book was written by a 17 year old, and the movie looks like it was made by the same 17 year old.

A waste of time.

But the girl in the seat next to mine was cute. Not a total waste of time after all.

Do you feel it too?

2007-04-17T17:31:00.000+10:00

Do you at times feel the immense power within you? Do you feel that there is so much more you can do. That there is a limitless world out there, that no matter what you wish for you can achieve. That all it requires is for you to think of something to do. Do you feel that you are bursting with immense potential - that there are so many gifts with which you are born, so many gifts for you to give the world.

And you feel all that power, all that potential bursting to get out. And you know that you need to find the switch that will let it out. You feel that its not a river raging against a huge dam, but like a single pull you need to unravel the tangle. A single pull at the right place and you know that everything will open up. And you are trying hard, searching for that one point. Or that one switch.

And you wonder where it is, and you wonder whether someone can show it to you, and you wish someone would. And you feel that you are crawling when you should be running full tilt, filling your lungs with huge gasps, and revelling in the pain of pushing yourself. And you ache to let yourself loose, to solve the problems of the world. And live a life bursting to the seams with passion, and with achievement. And excellence.

And you are looking for the switch. All the time.

If only you could find the switch.

Do you feel like that at times?

I do.

How to..

2007-04-13T19:14:00.000+10:00

If you are looking for online tips on how to do something for example you might be looking for tips on how to create your blog (good for you) or you might be looking for new skins for your laptop - then do visit Quick Online Tips.

You are welcome!

Btw: what skin would you recommend for my laptop? HP Skincrafts was the only local online supplier I could find.