Ms India meets Dumb Jock?

A tiara, the hushed silence followed by the applause, the sash, the arms raised in jubilation and those gorgeous lips making a big O as the reality of the triumph hits home– a lot of little kids, and some not so little kids, have this fantasy. Indeed some of these kids are little girls. And they spend many hours playing out the fantasy – dressing up in mom’s sarees, with mom’s lipstick all over their face, walking up and down an imaginary ramp, captivating the audience – in some cases where a much younger brother is involved - captive audience would be the precise term used.

And then these little girls grow up, most of them forget this dream and move on to other things – such as jobs, partying, men and/or women (as the case may be – this blog is very open minded) not necessarily in that order. Caught up in the adult life on it’s tram lines – on their way to kids, the suburban home, alcohol addiction and plastic surgery which fails to rescue the dreariness of the relationship or the self image (again – not necessarily in that order).

And some little girls don’t let go of their childhood dream. This is about one such little girl. She did all the usual modeling at home when she was knee high, and mom’s wardrobe suffered the damage with good grace. And she grew up and like all good Indian children – worked hard, studied hard – got good marks (I used to hate those kids – my parents were always wondering why I couldn’t get a better looking report card – at least once without an F would be nice)

And when she got good results, her mom would let her do commercial assignments – and that’s how she took her first baby steps in the glamour industry.

She went on to study engineering – another path breaking step – many lifetimes of research among engineering colleges has shown that

a) there are few women in engineering colleges

b) the probability of a woman being good looking and being in an engineering college is no greater than the possibility of England winning Euro 2008.

And contrary to popular belief she managed to retain her beauty throughout her education (the fact that she didn’t study in an Indian college had something to do with it – points a and b above are known axioms of the Indian education system)

Education done, it was time to get a job – and she decided global domination was the way to go – and she joined Google. Went on to become a product manager, and was all set to become a proper working adult.

But the little girl inside wasn’t able to forget her dream.

And that little girl decided that it was time to chase her dream. If she didn’t do it now, she would never be able to do it. And one thing she didn’t want, was the regret of ‘I wish I had done that’. She was going to take part in a beauty pageant.

She quit her job at Google California. Politely declined her admission invite to ISB. Came back home and set about trying to become a beauty pageant contestant.

When she discussed this with her mom, mom was hugely supportive of her decision, all she wanted was for her daughter to have no regrets in life. She said ‘Do what makes you happy.’ And this gave her strength and courage. Not that she lacked any of it.

Of course contesting a beauty pageant is no easy thing. Among other difficult things it involves eating very little – which is the main reason why I am not participating in any such thing – I can handle all the other tough parts such as being with a bunch of skimpily clad women in a room or listening to contestants bitch about each other. In fact some of my best friends are women (occasionally bitchy and occasionally … but let’s not go there)

But then it turned out that Femina Miss India would not let her compete – and not because of anything to do with beauty (as you can see – she lacks nothing in that department) but because of age – they had an age limit. And she was over it. Getting an education, and a job at Google takes up some time.

She didn’t want to hang around to compete in Mrs India.

And then someone told her about the HT Miss India World Wide competition – which is run across some 20 countries for women of Indian descent. And was being run for the first time in India as well.

She applied, and got through.

And probably regretted it many times over the next few weeks as she went through beauty pageant boot camp – only healthy food¹, and very little of it – lots of sweating and crunches and running. And she met a lot of nice people – she went prepared to face bitching and backbiting, but was pleasantly surprised to make nice friends. She was also the odd one out as almost all the contestant were from the glamour business with most of them seeking to make it big in Bollywood. And it of course made things easier for her, as she could see how important this was for her new friends – not that she wasn’t competitive – but she tried to find ways to help her fellow contestants. She wasn’t there to win or lose but to learn, and to experience. And she felt she could gain so much more if she didn’t worry about victory or defeat – indeed treating those two impostors just the same was her motto. And she was able to enjoy the competition even more because she wasn't just competing.

Her long term ambition is to work in the entertainment business, but on the business side of it – making use of her analytical skills and her mind. And she’s headed to Stanford to do her master’s in business - she gave her interviews well after she quit and came back, which makes her decision a very brave one.

Which is the main reason I am writing so much about her² – I am fascinated by people who take the chance to chase a dream. Taking the leap – without a safety net or security line – following the beat of their heart.

So here’s to Kavita Khurana - stunning, gorgeous (as you can see from her picture below) and razor sharp. But what I admire most is your bravery, and your ability to make that leap of faith. And I hope that you will continue to find success on your journey of creativity and learning.

And she did do well in the contest – voted as Miss Congeniality, I am waiting to get a CD of the show. And maybe some phone nos of her fellow contestants, if I am lucky J.

Editor’s Note:

If you think I am putting up pictures of gorgeous women and linking to their blogs just to make you come back – you won’t be wrong, but the real reason I am doing this is to write about people who make brave choices. And next in line we have

a. Avantika (who gave up her job as a lawyer to work as an HR manager in an NGO – my experience with HR professionals tells me that it’s not too far removed from being a lawyer – but don’t listen to cynical me)

b. Avantika’s very attractive husband, Kanishka: Who gave up his fastrack job in an MNC to start up a consultancy related to HR ( Seriously what’s wrong with these guys – how much HR can you have in one family? – at least their kids will be well trained)

c. N – who took a break from her job, to travel around some parts of the country in a rickshaw. She was driving it. When she was not pushing it. From Calcutta to Nepal and all that..

<sup>1 Correction: Apparently they feasted on Naans, Daal Makhni and Gulab Jamuns - but it sounds better to think they starved..

2</sup>Of course, this is not an idea I can claim as mine – Po Bronson did it much better in his book – Why Do I Love These People – which you should read after you read his earlier work – What should I Do With My Life

Good Dinner Table Conversation

Goes something like this

Location: Smart restaurant opposite my place

GFBA: That guy looks like Keanu Reeves with a beard.
St: (Turning around slowly - after all I was in the middle of a juicy Steak) hmmmmm.. you are right.
GFBA: Hmmmmm
St: Maybe because he is Keanu Reeves, with a beard....
GFBA: You are right..

See, even I can drop names of celebs casually.

Pretty soon I am going to be talking about the time I had dinner with Keanu Reeves.

For the record - he looked pretty good, and I am a huge fan, but we decided to act cool and not disturb his dinner - he was gracious enough to pose with the people at the table next to him, with a smile.

A fabulous start to my 10 day vacation, which ended this morning - and I need a break to recharge my batteries.

Move your big toe (and other random references)

Hello,

I hope you are doing well.

And I hope that the light of love continues to burn in the eyes of your significant other, and your children (if you have been so blessed) are burping/pooping/going to school on schedule (as the case may be) or you are pleasantly engaged in the attempt to create such entities.

It is time for me to update you on the brilliant adventure of my life. You, unlike lesser mortals, don't have to wait for the book to come out to know the story of my life, you get special bite sized episodes - such as this one.

And I know, you have been waiting with bated breath, chewing your fingernails to the bone, pressing the F5 key on your browser to check for the latest on your favorite Shiju. I am sure in some unfortunate cases I might be the only Shiju you know - and though the thought might leave you depressed I can promise you that you have nothing to worry about. If you needed only one Shiju in your life, than have no doubt, that this one is the best you could do. ( I say this after having met other Shijus - and seriously, they fail to keep the honor of this magnificent name intact)

So, be that as it may, let us move onward to the story. Or as they say, the crux of the matter.

I am settling in well in my new home ( for those of you who don't know - I just moved to Sydney - and if you didn't know that I suggest you check your F5 key)

I have a gorgeous italian neighbour who plies me with wine and reads me poetry and consoles me when I am shedding tears about missing all you fine people in mumbai- but I think that is more a case of her generosity and poor eyesight (she has 3 grandchildren) than anything else you might think - and I know exactly what you are thinking. And I can walk to work. Though I still have a tendency to get late - mainly because they start work really early here (8:30 am, wtf?) and because I am unable to sleep between 2 am and 5 am. Of course, initially i would wake up to check the clock and see if the there was any sinister significance to the hour - such as 3:33 or something (as seen in 'The Exorcism of Emily Rose') - but fortunately the clock has been kind to me, if not my sleep. And the reason for this, you ask? I am sure this would make a good storyline for an episode of Dr House - I can see the whiteboard with Sleepless, 2 AM to 5 AM, Recent Move, Quit Smoking, Body Clock, The Exorcism of Emily Rose already.

Do remember, you saw it here first.

Anyway, the reason is rather simple - and no, the reason is not because my neighbour gets home from work late. For the first month I was staying in a serviced apartment, which had a weird timing system on the air conditioning. It would switch off after 4 hours. So every night, the AC would switch off around 2 AM, and within a few minutes, I would switch on. Spend anywhere between a few minutes to a few hours trying to will myself to get off the bed to switch it on. (Like Uma Thurman in Kill Bill) Come back and collapse in bed. And get late for work in the morning.

Since then, I can't sleep for more than 4 hours at a time.

So I have sleeping pills, which are of no use whatsoever. And a rose mint flavored herbal spray which is rather addictive.

I've also resumed my soccer career with a local league team, and I do my best to sleep well on saturday nights so that I am fresh for the game on Sunday. Which is bit tough because I can't use pills, or the spray or alcohol to put myself to bed. And no, I can't use that either - I need to be fresh for the game. We have our third game this Sunday - I am yet to score or assist though I've managed that in practise games. But I've had a few good moments. And hopefully will have a few more.

I also managed to make it to a concert - Sinead O'Connor with Damien Dempsey opening (you should really check out his Masai - that Irish accent is irresistible) and missed out on another one I wanted to see (KT Tunstall - sadly, this was on the same day as Sinead O'Conner) and I never even knew she was playing. But I've added her to my list of favorite artistes/stars - she has an awesome voice and is drop dead gorgeous (others being Uma Thurman, Carrie-Anne Moss, Dido, Sheryl Crow, Jennifer Connelly)

A concert here is a totally different experience to one in Mumbai - no crowds, no dust, no straining to catch a glimpse of the stage from 3 kilometres away and no trying to find a friend working for the company that sponsors the show to get tickets.

Hopefully, I wont miss Zizou's trip down under.

Will keep you posted on further developments - now where is that darn spray?

Feeling low?

Laughter is the best medicine.

Pie Charts make the world go round

all this and more - from here

My first time

Finally. After lots of procrastination. And a few threats. And one half baked attempt. I did it.My first Urf. ( What is an Urf? )

My brief was short and simple:

a) a piece of fiction
b) serious
c) no football

I am not sure it follows the spirit of an Urf but do go and read, and let me know what you think.

Will post here later.

Maine aaj tak tum se kuchch nahin maanga..

...lekin aaj maangta hoon.

I was just walking back to work, after picking up my lunch when I heard a quite voice say

'Hi, how are you doing today'.

I stopped fiddling with the iPod controls and looked up to find one of those volunteers, with a bag, a badge and a pair of the clearest blue eyes I have seen in recent times. The clarity held your attention. And the voice held it some more.

'Hello' I mumbled back.

'On your way to work?' she asked

'Yeah, just picking up some lunch and heading back'

'Ok, do you have a couple of minutes'

'Yeah sure'

'Have you heard of Amnesty International'

'Yeah sure, it's an international organisation which does all kinds of stuff for human rights and anti-violence and war crimes and all that..'

'That's correct!' she gushed, 'It's such a pleasure to meet someone who knows something about us, allow me shake your hand.'

'ummm, yeah' i mumbled some more and offered my hand, trying to juggle the pod, the glasses and the lunch in my left hand.

After some more talk, she came down to her campaign.

'We are currently running a campaign to Stop Violence Against Women'

I figured this was not the right time to tell her that going by my experiences in the past decade all the violence had been committed by women against me, and there was very little chance of any act of violence originating in my little peace loving brain.

' 2 out of 3 women in Australia suffer from some sort of domestic violence at the hands of their partner. Your support and contributions will go towards helping those who suffer.'

I couldn't say no after I heard all she had to say (and domestic violence is a nasty memory I am trying to forget too often - it was a big part of my childhood and my family is still dealing with the aftermath) - it's always a thought that we want to do something - and we want to change the world and we, or atleast I, wait for some fancy earth shaking opportunity in which we can save the world. Or wait till we have made it big, so that we can offer our time and money when we have plenty of both.

Of course, it's always later.

We can still change the world a little at a time. Maybe a dollar a day. That's the easiest option.

So don't just sit there, do something.

Go on, see how you can help - if just two of you do something tangible, and get two more people to do something, this would be the perfect gift.



So, I am begging you - Help. All the people. Who need just a little of your time or money.

You have plenty of both.

More about Amnesty International here.

Predictably Irrational

'Predictably Irrational' is a book about the choices we make, and the tricks our mind plays on us, when we are making those choices. Promises to be an interesting read, in the meanwhile you can test your rationality in the Door Game.

Let me know how you fared. Modesty prevents me from telling you that I scored more in the second part than the first. Damn, my mind is playing tricks on me again.

Life

Here

The courage to live consciously

Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature,
nor do the children of men as a whole experience it.
Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure.
Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.
To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits
in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable.

- Helen Keller

Quoted by Steve in The courage to live consciously

Yes we can!

Aussie Aussie Aussie

We know that readers (ok, ok, the single reader – fine!) of this blog are very discerning gentlemen (if you are a lady please leave your number in the comments section) with refined tastes and superior intelligence. And therefore they take a strong interest in foreign affairs and stuff like the socioeconomic factors which impact the length of the lower garment worn by the distaff members of the human race, and the cultural impact of human sacrifices to the great lord cthulhu. And like all average writers, I too, must take care of my audience and provide them with the kind of reading which will make for intelligent dinner table conversation, and enhance the readers possibility of contributing to the propogation of the human species – we all know how chicks dig stuff they cant understand.

Therefore, this week we shall discuss ‘foreign culture’ so that you can show what a wise (and wealthy – chicks dig the green stuff too – no we are not talking about the fungus on your boxers, dude) and well traveled gentleman you are, the topic will be ‘bar conversations with aussie gentlemen’

Ok, so you are in Oz. You survived the rubber steak they served you on Qantas, and the sniffer dogs and the customs inspection at the airport – you have stowed your luggage and changed into bata rubber chappals (referred to as Thongs by the locals – no, not those kind of thongs) and you have wonderful pair of sunglasses parked on your head and you have decided to start your immersion in aussie culture by dipping a toe at the neighbourhood drinking hole. You have practice your ‘maite’ and have the drawl down to a t. You have done your research on the beer, and know that you can’t go in and order Fosters, because it is not Australian for beeahh. But are you prepared for the biggest challenge? You don’t even know what it is, how can you be prepared? You are lucky that some dude sitting in CERN decided to make this thing called the internet so that reading this could save your sorry a**.

Enter bar

Drink in gorgeous blondes in skimpy bikinis draped all over the place. The blondes, not the bikinis dumbo.

Realise that the tree trunks against which some of them are leaning are rippling in an oddly menacing manner.

Gulp twice as you realize aforementioned tree trunks belong to her boyfriend, and are not tree trunks but his arms.

Avert eyes, and head towards bar looking sheepish while at the same time pulling the sunglasses over your eyes to hide sheepishness and assume coolness (great face saving devices, sunglasses)

Go up to the bar, and ask bartender for pint of Pure Blonde or VB or Little Creatures or Corona (Anything else and you are risking recently saved face)

Realise that you have been giving your order to the beer taps.

Remove sunglasses from eyes, locate gorgeous bar tender.

Replace jaw in socket, lift eyes a couple of inches and looking at her FACE – resubmit petition for beer of choice.

Take beer, smile say thank you (to her face) and then move towards empty table / empty space/ friends.

Take a swig of your drink, and act cool. Which means don’t open your mouth, don’t letch at the bartender from across the open spaces and act as though everything in the world bores you. The same effect can be achieved by trying to recollect the last time you were in close vicinity of such pulchritude while simultaneously trying to calculate the 4^th root of Pi. Watch the match on the telly and yell Terimaaaki¹ when an Aussie wicket falls. Ok, that might be a long wait, when anything remotely exciting happens – such as the changeover of the commentary team. Smile at the bunch of aussies staring at you and say ‘ Hi, how you doing ‘ No wait, I use that elsewhere – Say ‘Hey, Wassup?’. ‘Mate’ remember to draw it out. The rest of the conversation should be pretty straightforward –

You: ‘Hey, Wassup Maite’

Aussie: Hey, enjoying the cricket?

You : Yup, you guys are finally learning to play – pretty soon we will be evenly matched if you guys keep it up

Aussie: Ha Ha Ha, you subtle sarcastic rascal you – why don’t you sleep with my girlfriend and my sister tonight? – (yeah right, what are you drinking? – aussies wont get sarcasm so easily)

Rewind: Aussie: thoughtful. Slow smile as the humor strikes – hahahaha. You guys are worse than the poms

You: yeah except that we win sometimes..

Aussie: grinning, so what do you do, my name is steve.

You: Hi, my name is (insert your name here)2 I work at (insert your job here) while auditioning for movies as a 7-11 clerk

Aussie: Oh, my friend Steve works there too? Have you met him?

You: Oh yes, Steve C is your mate? I didn’t realize he had such splendid friends who are a boon to humanity

Aussie: No no, not Steve C – Steve the guy in account.

You: Ooooh, you mean Steve Adams – yeah I know him.

Aussie: No, no – not Steve Adams, wait let me find out what his full name is – (calls girlfriend over) Hey Nicole, whats Steve’s full name?

Nicole: You mean my brother Steve?

Aussie: No, no the other Steve – the one who works at (insert name of company)

Nicole: Steve K

Aussie: Yes, Yes Steve K

You: (Politely) Sorry, I am not sure if I have met him but I’ll defnly look him up.

Aussie: Nicole, meet my new friend - he works with Steve

You: Hi Nicole, I’m (insert name)

Nicole: I am sorry, I didn’t get that, how do you spell it ?

You (giving up the ghost): Es Tee Eee Vee Eee – My friends call me Steve

This ends our current instalment of the Aussie chapter on improving your chances of contributing to the gene pool.

Previous chapters on culture here.

Previous chapters on Oz here and here.

¹ This was actually the name of a quiz team in college (I was a visiting member) – we used to say it in an anglicized manner when introducing the team so people rarely realized what we had actually said.

² Reminds me of the time we sent our team mate to present at an advertising case competition (at an equally well known institute of management in eastern India) with a deck finished at 5 am after a party – which had everything except the final tagline – we left it as insert tagline here. Which is exactly how our team mate presented it. No, we didn’t win that one.

End of Day 1

We have these bi-weekly learning sessions at work – and what someone is taking up next week is ‘The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People’ – and as so often before, synchronicity touches my life again. The chapter assigned to me for preparation and discussion is chapter 2 – Begin with the end in mind. And it starts with an exercise where you close your eyes, and visualize (you guessed it) your own funeral happening a few years from now. You imagine people from the different areas in your life talking about you – what would your lover say? Your friends? Your colleagues? Your clients/business partners ?

And I was just shaking my head and thinking, there is no escaping this.

And I sat through, and read the whole chapter – and I might even give the whole book a shot (yeah I know, it’s a good one, but it’s so popular, I find it difficult to pick up anything so popular )

It goes through the placing principles at the center of your life as opposed to work/play/pleasure/partners/friends – and creating a balance among the different areas in my life.

And of course, finding out what is important for you.

In terms of fundamentals – what I will do is :

LEARN

Share what I learn or TEACH

WRITE

GROW

LOVE

PLAY

SHARE

LAUGH

NURTURE

And how does this reflect in the goals I set for myself this year – earlier at a staff conference?

……………………………………………..

Fitness:

• Mental: Regular reading, restart chess, eat good food, join mensa
• Spiritual: Restart regular meditation/Yoga atleast 2 days a week
• Physical: Regular running, play soccer for a team, and get tennis back to competitive levels

Writing:

Financial goals:

• Save x%
• Own a particular asset
• Invest regularly

Inter - personal Goals:

• Closely inspect self for commitment issues
• Avoid frivolous dead end relationships
• Look for mutual growth
• Be genuine and make genuine friends

Guidelines for achieving goals:

The Art of Living by Epictetus

Desiderata

The Invitation

……………………………………………………….

As the psalm says (from Chaper 2 again)

‘Search your own heart with all diligence for out of it flow the issues of life.’

Do not stand at my grave and weep, for I will see you on the other side.

The End

I was reading this book last night. It had this conversation between an old couple. Talking about what they should have done. And could have done. And the chances they didn’t take.

And it’s something I have talked about before.

And wondered about too, what is really important to you?

When you are sitting on your bed, making your peace with the world, at the end of your life – what are you going to regret?
The chances you didn’t take, or the silly risks you did?
The book you didn’t write or the time you spend chasing big bucks and promotions at work?
The clothes you didn’t buy or the places you didn’t visit?
The people you had a fight with or the ones you didn’t spend enough time with?
Do you have a filter right now, to figure out the important choices for you?
And if you do, are you using that knowledge you have, to make those tough choices?

Or are you living in default, moving along with the default choices, which don’t require much thought, and don’t offer too much resistance.

And have you thought about the reverse case. What if you lose one of your friends to death?
What are your regrets then? Did you tell them all that you should have? Could have?
Do you end up wishing that you had few more days, or weeks, to tell that friend how much she/he means to you?
Do you remember the argument you had? Or the anger you felt?

What would you do?

These are some answers I am looking for, as I look to enact my death. In the sense of imagining my last day on earth and seeing what it is I’d rather be doing.

And that means a few days off.

A few days of electronic silence.

Feel free to leave flowers.

Growth. Change. Constant. Loss. Gain. Pain? Joy!

No single thing abides,
But all things flow
Fragment to fragment clings
And things thus grow.

- Lucretius, On the Nature of Things

(hat tip to a very wise woman - who sent me this when i was in school)

As i struggle with limits, and boundaries and try to make the most of my many deficiencies - I'm also struggling to find out whether I am taking the easy way or the hard way? I've always been a fan of taking the tougher option, not that I am a masochist or anything, but sometimes the bigger rewards lie behind the tougher option. So then, is quitting the tougher option - even if it never was an option? Or is not?

Of course, the answer could be simple - follow your heart. And let what will be, be.

I just started soccer training this last week. And all though the first couple of sessions were pure misery ( it's been close to a year since I did some proper training - thanks to an ACL injury) but things are getting better.

And I have two options for teams - one is a very good team, with a lot of good players where I doubt if I would make it to the playing 11 (given my current form and fitness) - the other option is an average team with players who are not as good as the first option - which probably means more playing time, and also more work for me.

So both options would call for some hard work. Option a - just to keep up and break into the team, Option b - to win games, and make the most out of the team.

It's almost exactly like the difference between a joining a big established multinational firm and joining a boutique type start-up. Both provide different learning experiences.

As of now, I am training with big team on weekdays, and playing with the small team on weekends. But it's only been a week. That's 3 games, 2 goals, some embarrassing slip ups, a couple of good moments, lots of agony :-) and stiffness - and no smoking - except for the urge to gorge on junk food post the game. And the fact that I feel so good post training - I get home at 10:30 PM and cant sleep till well past midnight.

So let's see how these choices play out.

FIFA meets Crouching Tiger

Réinvente ton jeu
Video sent by ElectronicArts

www.video.fifastreet3.fr

The boys are back in town

This is by far, the best Australian Open I have seen in the recent past. The reigning big man on court has come through some tough challenges and he faces at least two more big matches before he can regain his Australian crown. It is possible that Djokovic might get the better of Fed, as he did in last year’s Masters. But it seems unlikely. Fed has been playing well, and though the match against Tipsarevic saw him wobble before he came back to assert himself, it is likely that might step up his game for the final weekend. And that should be a match worth watching.

Jo Wilfried Tsonga has had a fairytale run to his first Grand Slam final – oddly befitting a man whose name sounds like something Wilbur Smith might use for one of his characters. And his demolition of Rafael Nadal in yesterday’s final was not something many people would have foreseen. Nadal, after all, is the 2nd best player in the world – a fighter, a retriever and already one of the all time clay court greats. And had he not had the misfortune to be playing at the same time as Fed – he would have been a dominant No 1 in his own right. But not last night. Nadal could just watch as his opponents serves whizzed past him. Nadal’s backhand was left woefully exposed. His second serve was treated with disdain, slapped away. His attempted passes failed to penetrate and often came back as unreachable drop shots. And it was all Tsonga – close to 40 winners, Nadal had just 4 unforced errors! And the first time Nadal held any break points was the fourth game of the third set – such was the dominance of Tsonga’s serve. And even then, Tsonga held on.

Federer vs Tsonga should be match worth watching.

And it seems like this is a match up we will be seeing a lot more often.